NP Fellow Become the CEO of Your Health

When Adapting Becomes Abandoning Yourself

Jess, The Creator — Sun, 06 Sep 2026 10:02:41 GMT

“Timeless values are compassion, self-love, curiosity, balance, humility, growth, and kindness.”

♥️ A Note from Me

Hi, I’m Jessica.

I write NP Fellow Become The CEO of Your Health— a weekly mental health and functional medicine newsletter about building a healthier relationship with your mind, your body, and yourself.

“Just be yourself.”

It sounds simple enough.

Until you start asking what that actually means because none of us moves through life as one completely unchanged version of ourselves.

You speak differently with your closest friend than you do with your boss.
You may be more reserved in one room and more outspoken in another.
You compromise.
You consider other people.
You grow.
You change your mind.

That’s part of being human, but sometimes something else happens.

We become so good at reading the room, keeping the peace, meeting expectations, and being who other people need us to be that we stop asking a fairly important question:

→ What do I actually think?

This week, we’re looking at the difference between adapting and abandoning yourself, and what can happen when your own voice gets quieter than everyone else’s.

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We All Adjust

Think about the different versions of you that show up during an ordinary week.

There’s work you.
Friend you.
Partner you.
Parent you.
Family-gathering you.

Maybe there’s even a very specific version of you who appears around that one person who somehow makes you feel fifteen years old again.

We adjust to context.

That isn’t necessarily fake. It’s part of knowing how to move through the world with other people.

You probably shouldn’t speak to your boss exactly the way you speak to your best friend after two glasses of wine.

Context matters.

The question is whether you’re adjusting how you express yourself or changing yourself to stay acceptable to someone else.

Those can look surprisingly similar from the outside.

They don’t always feel similar on the inside.

Sometimes Self-Abandonment Looks Very Reasonable

We tend to imagine betraying ourselves as something dramatic.

Some enormous decision where we completely give up what we believe.

Usually, it’s quieter.

Someone asks what restaurant you want.

“I don’t care. Whatever you want.”

You do care.

You have an opinion in a meeting and you decide not to say it.

Someone asks you to do something you don’t have the capacity for.

“Sure.”

You want to say no.

You’re proud of something, but play it down because you don’t want to seem full of yourself.

You keep pursuing something you stopped wanting a long time ago because changing direction would require explaining yourself.

None of these moments seems particularly significant.

That’s what makes them easy to miss.

One compromise probably won’t make you lose yourself.

However, a thousand tiny decisions made primarily to avoid disappointing, upsetting, confusing, or being judged by other people?

Eventually, those add up.

You Read The Room Before You Read Yourself

There’s a reason we get good at this.

Human beings care deeply about belonging and over time we learn which versions of ourselves seem to work best around other people.

Maybe being agreeable kept things peaceful.
Maybe being accomplished earned praise.
Maybe being useful made you feel needed.
Maybe having strong opinions caused conflict.
Maybe saying no disappointed people.
Maybe being easygoing made life easier for everyone around you.

So you learned.

→ This version of me works here.

Those strategies may have genuinely helped you navigate relationships or difficult situations.

The problem is that we can keep using them long after we’ve stopped asking whether they still fit.

→ Eventually, you can become so practiced at noticing what everyone else wants that you barely notice what you want.

You read the room before you read yourself.

Being Liked Can Become A Decision-Making System

There’s nothing wrong with wanting people to like you.

Most of us would prefer acceptance to rejection.

However, watch what happens when avoiding disapproval starts making decisions for you.

Should I say something?
- Will they be upset?
Should I say no?
- Will they think I’m selfish?
Should I change direction?
- What will everyone say?
Should I tell them what I actually think?
- Maybe it’s easier if I don’t.

Notice who hasn’t been consulted yet.

You.

What do you think?
What matters to you?
What do you want?

What choice can you respect yourself for making?

Other people’s reactions have entered the decision before you have.

Do that often enough and you can end up living a perfectly reasonable life that doesn’t feel much like yours.

You Can Be Very Good At A Life You Don’t Want

Sometimes the roles we learn to play work incredibly well.

You become dependable.
Accommodating.
Successful.
Easy to work with.
The person everyone calls.
The one who can handle it.

People may even praise you for the exact qualities that are exhausting you.

That makes questioning them harder because what happens when the version of you everyone loves being around is the version that keeps saying yes when you want to say no?

What happens when changing means disappointing people who benefited from you staying exactly the same?

There may never be a dramatic moment where you suddenly realize:

I’ve lost myself.

It may sound more like:

Why do I keep saying yes and resenting it later?

Or:

Why does my life look fine but feel wrong?

Those questions are worth listening to.

Being Yourself Doesn’t Mean Staying The Same

There’s another problem hidden inside the advice to “stay true to yourself.”

→ It can make identity sound fixed.

As though somewhere inside you is the Official Version of You™ and your job is to protect that person from change forever.

Nope.

You’re allowed to change and you’re allowed to outgrow goals.

Change your mind.
Develop different priorities.
Leave identities that once fit you.
Realize you were wrong.
Become interested in something you never cared about before.
Want something different at forty than you wanted at twenty-five.

Changing doesn’t automatically mean you’ve betrayed yourself.

Sometimes changing means you’ve been paying attention.

So the question isn’t:

Am I still the person I used to be?

A more useful question is:

Does the way I’m living reflect what matters to me now?

There’s A Difference Between Compromise & Disappearing

Being true to yourself doesn’t mean getting your way all the time.

Relationships require compromise.
Families require flexibility.
Teams require cooperation.

Sometimes you do something you wouldn’t choose because it matters to someone you love.

→ That doesn’t mean you’ve abandoned yourself.

The difference is whether you still exist inside the decision.

You can compromise while knowing what you wanted.
You can consider someone else without automatically overriding yourself.
You can change your mind because someone made a good argument.
You can choose another person’s needs because caring for them matters deeply to you.

That choice can still be yours.

→ You can consider everyone else without removing yourself from the decision, but if your preferences, needs, opinions, and limits rarely make it into the conversation?

That’s worth noticing.

Start Listening For The Tiny Moments

You probably don’t need to disappear into the woods for three months to “find yourself.”

→ You’re still here.

Start paying attention.

Notice when someone asks what you want and your immediate instinct is to ask what they want.
Notice when you say yes before checking whether you actually have the time or energy.
Notice when you have an opinion and swallow it.
Notice when you make a decision and your first concern is how it will look.
Notice when you describe something you want and immediately explain why you probably shouldn’t want it.

Those moments contain information.

You don’t have to change every one of them.

Just notice because before you can make choices that feel like yours, you have to be able to hear yourself having a preference in the first place.

You Need Something To Come Back To

If being yourself isn’t about behaving the same way everywhere, never compromising, or refusing to change, then what keeps you connected to yourself?

→ You need some way of knowing what matters enough to guide you.

Something deeper than:

What will make everyone happy?
What am I supposed to do?
What will cause the least conflict?

→ You need to know what you want your choices to stand for.

That won’t make every decision obvious, but it gives your voice a seat at the table and sometimes that’s what staying true to yourself actually looks like.

Final Thoughts

Staying connected to yourself requires checking back in.

You’ll adapt.
Compromise.
Change.
Get influenced by people you love.
Make choices you later reconsider.

That’s life, but every so often, it’s worth checking whether you’re still participating in your own decisions.

→ So this week, notice one moment when you’re about to automatically agree, accommodate, stay quiet, or choose what you think you should want.

Before you answer, ask:

What do I think?

You don’t necessarily have to act on the answer. Just make sure you can still hear it.

You can change without losing yourself. Just don’t disappear from your own decisions.

Thank you for reading this article.

Until next Sunday,
—Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“The default is to live from a place of ego, focused on surviving. The goal is to live from a place of compassion for yourself and others, which supports thriving.” —Yung Pueblo

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If this article resonated with you, you may appreciate my new product called Weekly Skill, a paid NP Fellow series focused on one real, grounded internal skill each week regarding attention, impulse control, emotional regulation, presence, and learning how to work with your nervous system instead of against it.

No pressure. Just an invitation.🤝

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MEDICAL DISCLAIMER

This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice or to take the place of such advice or treatment from a personal physician. All readers/viewers of this content are advised to consult their doctors or qualified health professionals regarding specific health questions. All viewers of this content, especially those taking prescription or over-the-counter medications, should consult their physicians before beginning any nutrition, supplement or lifestyle program.

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You Don’t Have To Become Someone Else To Become A Substack Bestseller

Jess, The Creator — Fri, 04 Sep 2026 01:14:52 GMT

Editor’s Note: This article grew out of a recent Substack Live with Yana G.Y. of Unplugged with Yana G.Y., who just earned her orange Bestseller badge after crossing 1,000 paid subscribers. We sat down to talk about how she got there, what I’ve learned from my own Bestseller journey, and why growing on Substack doesn’t require becoming someone you’re not.

I came to Substack because I could write.

That was kind of the appeal.

→ Write the article. Hit publish. Send the email.

No dancing on TikTok, no perfectly staged YouTube studio, and definitely no going Live.

Actually, when Substack started adding more social features, I wasn’t exactly standing there with pom-poms cheering them on.

Notes?

“I’m not doing that.”

Lives?

“Absolutely not.”

I liked being behind the screen, thank you very much, and yet here I am. 😂

I recently went Live with , and somewhere in the middle of a conversation about how to become a Substack Bestseller, we ended up talking about something I think matters just as much:

You don’t have to become someone else to grow here.

You don’t have to copy the biggest writer in your category.
You don’t have to suddenly become a polished video personality.
You don’t have to teach something nobody on Earth has ever taught before.
And you certainly don’t need a podcast studio before you’re allowed to turn the camera on.

→ You need to figure out what works and then figure out how you are going to do it.

That’s what our conversation kept coming back to.

First, Let’s Talk About That Bestseller Badge

This Live happened at a pretty damn good time.

Yana had just reached 1,000 paid subscribers and earned her next Substack Bestseller badge.

So obviously I wanted details.

→ How did she get there and what changed between her first 100 paid subscribers and the next 900?

And one of the most interesting things she said was that the answer wasn’t simply time.

Yana went all-in on Substack in September 2024. She went from roughly 20 paid subscribers to 100 in about three months.

Then things slowed down.

She kept doing more of what had worked, Notes, posts, paid content, challenges, but her paid growth stayed around 30 new subscribers a month for a period of time.

Eventually she realized something.

→ Her paid offer was already converting.

She didn’t necessarily need to invent some shiny new thing.

She needed more of the right people entering the front of what she had already built.

So she started focusing much more deliberately on growing her free subscriber base.

→ That included writing a massive free article specifically for the kind of beginner she wanted to bring into her world.

And here’s my favorite part:

It flopped at first.

Yep.

The article she intentionally created to bring in subscribers didn’t immediately take off, so she kept promoting it.

→ She answered questions from people who fit the audience she wanted to reach.

→ She linked people back to the article when it could genuinely help them.

→ She shared the article through Notes, asked others to restack it, promoted it outside Substack, and eventually Substack started distributing it more widely.

The article continued bringing her subscribers long after she published it.

There’s a lesson sitting right there.

Sometimes the thing you created to grow your publication doesn’t need replacing. It needs distribution.

Your Best Free Work Can Have A Job

This part of our conversation really stuck with me because I’ve become increasingly interested in giving every piece of content a job.

Some content builds trust.
Some starts conversations.
Some converts.
Some gets discovered.
Some can keep introducing new people to your work months after you publish it.

→ Yana’s giant free article had a very specific job: bring new people into her world.

Her paid system could take it from there.

At one point during the Live, I said something I’ve had to learn myself:

Your best work shouldn’t automatically go behind the paywall.

That can feel backwards when you’re trying to make money from your writing.

You spent six hours creating the thing and now I’m telling you to give it away?

But think about what happens when your strongest article is sitting behind a door nobody new can open.

→ Sometimes your best work is exactly what should be out front.

It gives someone a reason to stop.

Read, subscribe, and wonder what else you have.

Yana described her free article almost like an evergreen entry point.

→ The article brings people in; the rest of her system has the job of turning the right readers into paid subscribers.

That distinction matters because if every piece of content is expected to attract, educate, sell, convert, retain, entertain, and make you breakfast, we may be asking a little too much from one article.

Give the thing a job. Then help it do that job.

But Strategy Wasn’t The Most Interesting Part of The Conversation

At some point, we started talking about competition because if you write about Substack on Substack, you’re going to notice something fairly quickly:

There are a LOT of people writing about Substack on Substack.

Yana does, I do, and other successful writers do.

So why would anyone need another person talking about the same subject?

We could ask the same question about health.

Personal finance.
Travel.
Business.
Parenting.
Food.

There are already thousands of people talking about all of them.

So should you pack up your little publication and go home?

Nope.

During the Live, I pointed out that Yana and I can both teach Substack and still approach it completely differently.

→ She has a business background. She loves digging into data. She builds AI tools. She thinks deeply about funnels, conversion rates, systems, and scaling.

I came into this from a completely different direction.

→ I’ve been writing since I was a kid. My professional background is nursing. I spent over four yers writing online before I really started learning marketing and thinking seriously about positioning, offers, and monetization.

Same platform, overlapping subject, and very different people.

And Yana said something that landed:

→ People subscribe to you.

Yes, the subject matters.

Your work needs to be useful, but your personality is part of what separates you from everybody else talking about the same damn thing.

There’s only one you.

That means your job isn’t to figure out how to become Yana, or me, or whoever currently has the shiny badge you want.

→ Study what they’re doing and look at what works.

→ Test it and borrow the principle, but then run it through your own brain, your own experience, your own strengths, your own audience.

That’s where your version comes from.

Which Brings Me Back To Going Live

This might have been my favorite part of our conversation because the irony is not lost on me.

I used to LOVE that Substack didn’t require me to go Live.

Seriously, that was a feature.

I could sit behind my computer, write my little articles, hit publish, and continue living my peaceful camera-free existence.

Then Substack added Lives.

When people first started asking me to go Live, my immediate reaction was basically:

No, thank you.

But eventually I had to ask myself whether refusing to use an entire part of the platform simply because it made me uncomfortable was actually helping me.

So I tried it.

Now I go Live regularly and I actually look forward to it.

During my conversation with Yana, we talked about why Substack Live feels different from some of the other places we’ve experienced video.

You don’t need to make it look like television.
You don’t need a studio.
You don’t need to wait until your hair is perfect.
You don’t need to turn yourself into whatever bizarre version of “internet professional” you think people expect.

→ Good audio?

PLEASE.

People do need to hear you. 😂

But beyond that?

Show up and have the conversation.

Yana described it almost like a Zoom call.

I said it feels like hanging out with friends and that’s pretty much what happened.

→ People joined us from different places. They asked questions in the chat. We talked about paid subscriptions, Notes, monetization, offers, content, going Live, and everything else the conversation wandered into.

It wasn’t perfectly scripted. That was the point.

You Might Be Making Growth Harder Than It Needs To Be

There’s a weird thing that happens when we decide we want to grow something.

We start looking outward.

What is that person doing?
What should I add?
What new platform do I need?
What tactic am I missing?
What do successful people know that I don’t?

Yana did this too.

When she wanted to increase her paid growth, she started thinking about what ELSE she could do.

Collaborations?
Affiliates?
Software?
Something nobody else had tried?

Then she looked at what she already had.

→ Her paid system was converting.

The answer was sitting inside the business she had already built.

→ She needed to bring more of the right free subscribers into it.

I think there’s a bigger lesson there.

Before you decide you need to reinvent yourself—or your publication—look at what’s already working.

Maybe you need more people seeing your best article.
Maybe you need to talk about your paid offer more often.
Maybe you need to make the offer clearer.
Maybe you need to use Notes to start more conversations.
Maybe you need to finally accept the Live invitation you’ve been avoiding since March.

Growth doesn’t automatically require becoming a completely different creator.

Sometimes growth asks you to do more with what’s already yours.

The Badge Is Proof.

It Isn’t The Personality.

A Bestseller badge is exciting.

Hell yes, celebrate it.🎉

Yana should be proud of reaching 1,000 paid subscribers.

And if you reach your first 100 subscribers, celebrate that too. (of course!!)🎉

Your first paid subscriber?

Celebrate.

First month publishing consistently?

Celebrate.🎉

First article that takes off?

Celebrate.🎉

First person who replies and says, I needed this today?

I’d celebrate that one too.🎉

We talked during the Live about sharing milestones because people like seeing other people make progress.

It lets your readers see that they’re part of something that’s moving, but the badge itself isn’t the thing that makes someone worth reading.

The person behind it does.
The work does.
The conversations do.
The willingness to keep testing things does.

Sometimes growth means doing something you swore you weren’t going to do.

→ Like Notes or going Live.

Apparently Substack has personally made it its mission to keep ruining my plans. 😂

It’s all good.

I’ll adapt, but I’m still going to do it like me and I think that’s the part I want you to take from my conversation with Yana.

Learn the strategy.
Pay attention to your numbers.
Build an offer people have a reason to buy.
Promote your work.
Try the features that make you a little uncomfortable.
Study the people who are further ahead.

But don’t mistake learning from someone for needing to become them.

Yana became a Bestseller her way and I became one mine.

→ You’ll have to find yours and maybe that starts with showing up exactly as you are and simply having the conversation.

↑ Watch my full Live conversation with Yana GY above

Resources From This Conversation

Yana’s top article for new writers & creators on Substack who are building a newsletter from scratch →

Unplugged by Yana G.Y.

What I'd do if I had to start a Substack newsletter from zero in 2026.

If I had to start a Substack from scratch today, after building a bestselling publication with 10K+ subscribers and 500+ paid subscribers, making a consistent full-time income of $5k to $10K a month, this is how I’d do it…

5 months ago · 1773 likes · 291 comments · Yana G.Y.

Follow Yana at Unplugged by Yana G.Y. →

Follow Jess at NP Fellow Become The CEO of Your Health →

Follow Jess at Unstuck to Published →

Follow Jess at Nurse in the Market →

Thank You

Thank you so much for everyone who tuned into this live, your presence is truly appreciated, and to the people who are watching the replay, thank you!

-Jess, The Creator & Yana G.Y.

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Weekly Skill: Make The Clear Claim

Jess, The Creator — Wed, 02 Sep 2026 10:03:14 GMT

One grounded internal skill you can practice this week.

Why This Skill Matters

Listen to what happens when someone asks us to talk about ourselves.

“I just helped with the project.”
“I kind of came up with the idea.”
“I was lucky enough to get the opportunity.”
“I guess I’m pretty good at it.”
“I don’t know if I’m qualified, but…”

We add tiny escape hatches to the sentence.

Just.
Kind of.
Maybe.
I guess.
Lucky.

Sometimes we think this makes us sound humble, but those words can also make what we’re saying less accurate.

This week’s skill is about noticing when you shrink your own contribution, strength, or desire and practicing something different:

Make the clear claim.

Say what’s true. Then leave it alone.

What This Skill Is

A clear claim is a direct, accurate statement about something you did, something you do well or something you want.

For example:

I led the project.
I’m good at explaining complicated ideas clearly.
I’m proud of what I created.
I’d like to be considered for the position.

Notice what isn’t there.

No apology, no unnecessary qualifier, and no attempt to convince anyone you’re extraordinary.

→ You’re simply giving accurate information.

That’s the skill.

The Common Mistake

When people hear self-promotion, they often imagine they need to become more impressive.

Talk themselves up, sound confident, and sell themselves, but if that feels unnatural, we tend to run in the opposite direction.

We minimize.

The goal isn’t to replace:

“I just helped.”

with:

“This entire project would have collapsed without my brilliance.”

Please don’t.

The goal is to make the sentence accurate.

No inflation and no minimization.

If you contributed, say how.
If you led, say you led.
If you’re good at something, name it.

If you want something, ask to be considered.

The Practice: Catch → Check → Claim

1. Catch The Shrink

Start by listening for the words you use when talking about yourself.

Especially:

just
kind of
maybe
I guess
I got lucky
it wasn’t a big deal
anyone could have done it
I don’t want to brag, but…

You may also notice yourself giving away the subject of the sentence.

Instead of: “I created the proposal.”

you say: “We had this proposal…”

Even though you created it.

You don’t have to police every word you say.

Just start noticing when your language makes your actual contribution smaller.

2. Check The Facts

Before trying to sound more confident, ask something simpler:

What actually happened?

Not the humble version and not the impressive version.

The accurate one.

Did you help with the project? Or did you lead it?
Did you get lucky? Or did an opportunity appear that you were prepared to take?
Did you kind of create something? Or did you create it?
Did everyone contribute? Great. What did you contribute?

This step matters because self-promotion without accuracy becomes exaggeration.

We’re not doing that.

We’re looking for the sentence you can stand behind without making it bigger or smaller than it is.

3. Make The Clear Claim

Now say the accurate version.

Instead of:

“I just helped organize the project.”

Try:

→ “I organized the project.”

Instead of:

“I guess I’m pretty good at bringing people together.”

Try:

→ “One of my strengths is bringing people together.”

Instead of:

“I was lucky enough to get promoted.”

Try:

→ “I earned a promotion.”

Instead of:

“I don’t know if I’m qualified, but I thought maybe I could be considered.”

Try:

→ “I’d like to be considered.”

Then comes the surprisingly difficult part.

Stop talking.

Don’t rush in to soften the sentence.
Don’t explain why it wasn’t actually that impressive.
Don’t immediately list everyone who helped because you suddenly feel guilty for using the word.

Let the accurate statement stand.

Try It On Paper

Think of something you’ve recently accomplished, contributed to, created, or asked for.

Write the version you normally say first.

1. THE SHRUNK VERSION

“I just helped put the presentation together.”

Now ask:

2. WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED?

I developed the presentation, organized the information, and delivered it to the team.

Then write:

3. THE CLEAR CLAIM

“I developed and presented the proposal to the team.”

A second example:

1. THE SHRUNK VERSION

“I’ve been playing around with writing a little.”

2. WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED?

I’ve been writing consistently for six months and publishing my work.

3. THE CLEAR CLAIM

“I’m a writer, and I publish my work regularly.”

→ Read your clear claim out loud.

If it makes you slightly uncomfortable?

Good. Don’t immediately rewrite it into something smaller.

Self-Promotion Isn’t Only About Work

You don’t need a promotion, resume, business, or LinkedIn account to practice this.

Maybe you made something you’re proud of.

“I painted this.”

Maybe you finished something difficult.

“I’m proud that I finished it.”

Maybe you have an idea you want people to hear.

“I have an idea I’d like to share.”

Maybe someone compliments you.

Instead of explaining why the compliment isn’t entirely deserved: “Thank you. I’m proud of it too.”

Maybe there’s something you want.

“I’d like the opportunity to try.”

The circumstances change. The skill doesn’t.

Can you tell the truth about yourself without immediately taking some of it back?

This Week’s Practice

For the next seven days, make one clear claim each day.

Nothing dramatic.

Catch one moment when you’re about to minimize something you did, want, or do well.

Then:

Catch the shrink.
Check the facts.
Make the clear claim.

Maybe it happens in a meeting.

An email.
A conversation with a friend.
An application.
A social post.
Or simply when someone asks what you’ve been working on.

One sentence. No performance required.

Signs It’s Working

You may notice yourself catching the just, kind of, or maybe before it leaves your mouth.

You accept a compliment without explaining it away.
You say what you contributed without immediately handing the credit somewhere else.
You ask for an opportunity instead of hoping someone thinks of you.

You’ll know the skill is working when the accurate sentence starts feeling less uncomfortable to say.

The One-Line Reorientation

→ “Say the true thing. Then stop shrinking it.”

Closing Reflection

For many of us, the hardest part isn’t knowing what we’ve done.

It’s saying it plainly.

So this week, listen for the moment when you start making the sentence smaller.

Pause and ask:

What actually happened?

Then say that and resist the urge to explain it away.

Let the sentence stand.

Thank you for reading this article.

— Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“It was not time that healed you; it was your courage to feel everything you used to run from.” —Yung Pueblo

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Your Work Can’t Speak For Itself: How To Self-Promote Without Feeling Like You’re Bragging

Jess, The Creator — Sun, 30 Aug 2026 10:01:31 GMT

“Peace isn’t having the wisdom to handle change without stress; it’s having a balanced mind amid the ups and downs of life.”

🫶 A Note from Me

Hi, I’m Jessica.

I write NP Fellow Become The CEO of Your Health— a weekly mental health and functional medicine newsletter about building a healthier relationship with your mind, your body, and yourself.

Many of us were taught not to brag.

Be humble.
Let your work speak for itself.
Don’t make everything about you.

There’s wisdom in humility, but somewhere along the way, many of us learned something else:

Make yourself smaller so nobody thinks you think too highly of yourself.

So we do good work, we contribute, we accomplish something we’re proud of, and then, when it’s time to talk about it, we suddenly forget how declarative sentences work.

This week, we’re looking at why being seen can feel so uncomfortable, what self-promotion actually asks of us, and why taking ownership of what you bring isn’t the same thing as bragging.

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🚨🔊My New Annual Summer Vibes playlist - 2026 edit is now out on Spotify along with my podcast called NP Fellow Collective!

Your Work Can’t Speak For Itself

Imagine someone asks about a project you recently completed.

You’re proud of it, you worked hard, and you made an important contribution.

And you say:

“Oh, I just helped with it.”

Or someone compliments something you did well.

“Honestly, I got lucky.”

You’re asked about one of your strengths.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m pretty good at…”

You want an opportunity.

“I’m not sure if I’m qualified, but I thought maybe…”

Interesting, isn’t it?

We can spend months doing the work, but thirty seconds talking about it?

Absolutely unbearable.

Why Being Good At Something Can Be Easier Than Saying You’re Good At It

There’s a reason self-promotion can make us squirm.

Many of us associate talking about ourselves with arrogance.

We’ve met the person who dominates every conversation with their accomplishments.

→ The colleague who takes credit for work they barely touched.

→ The person whose LinkedIn page reads like they personally invented electricity.

We don’t want to be that person.

Fair, but there’s an enormous amount of room between exaggerating your importance and pretending you don’t have any.

Yet when we’re afraid of crossing into arrogance, we often overcorrect.

We minimize.
Qualify.
Deflect.
Give the credit away before anyone has accused us of taking too much.

At some point, humility becomes minimization.

Your Work Cannot Speak For Itself

There’s a piece of advice many capable people love:

→ Let your work speak for itself.

It sounds noble. There’s just one problem.

Your work doesn’t have a mouth.

People don’t automatically know what you contributed.

Your manager may see the finished project without knowing you were the person who solved the problem everyone was stuck on.
A potential client may know what you do without knowing what you’re particularly good at.
Someone considering you for an opportunity may have no idea you want it.

Your work provides the evidence, but people still need enough information to understand what you contributed.

→ They can’t recommend you for something they don’t know you can do.

→ They can’t consider you for an opportunity they don’t know you want.

Sometimes that information has to come from you.

Waiting To Be Discovered Is Still A Choice

It can feel safer to wait.

Wait for someone to notice.
Wait for someone to recommend you.
Wait for your boss to remember what you contributed.
Wait for somebody to ask exactly the right question so you finally have permission to talk about what you do well.

And sometimes people will notice.

Good mentors advocate for us.
Colleagues mention our contributions.
Friends recommend us.
Managers open doors.

Those relationships matter, but if other people are the only ones allowed to talk about what you bring, you’ve handed them responsibility for your visibility.

→ They decide when your name comes up, which part of your contribution gets remembered, and whether the opportunity reaches you at all.

That’s a lot to outsource.

The Hard Part May Be Letting Yourself Be Seen

Maybe self-promotion isn’t uncomfortable because you don’t know what to say or maybe you know exactly what you did.

You just feel strange saying it out loud because the moment you say:

I’m good at this.
I did this.
I’m proud of this.
I want this opportunity.

You’ve made yourself visible and visibility comes with risk.

Someone can disagree.
Someone can think you’re too much.
Someone can decide you’re not as good as you think you are.
Someone might judge you.

So we add protection.

Just.
Maybe.
Kind of.
I got lucky.
It wasn’t really a big deal.

Tiny words, but watch what they do.

They make the claim smaller before anyone else gets the chance to.

Taking Credit Isn’t Taking All The Credit

There’s another reason people hesitate to name their contribution.

Most meaningful work involves other people.

You had support.
Someone taught you.
A team helped.
Circumstances played a role.
Another creator helped you.

Good.

Acknowledging your contribution doesn’t require pretending none of that exists.

You can say:

“Our team did excellent work, and I led the project.”

Both can be true.

You can be grateful for an opportunity and acknowledge what you did with it.
You can appreciate the people who helped you and still name your own effort.
You can recognize luck without using it to explain away your competence.

Giving yourself credit doesn’t require stealing it from somebody else.

Self-Promotion Doesn’t Require A Performance

Maybe we’ve made self-promotion harder than it needs to be.

We imagine we have to sell ourselves.

Sound impressive.
Convince people we’re exceptional.
Become louder.

However, what if self-promotion were less about performing and more about accurately reporting?

What did you do?
What are you good at?
What did your contribution change?
What do you want to be considered for?

Say that.

You’re Allowed To Take Yourself Seriously

There’s something vulnerable about taking yourself seriously in front of other people.

It means saying:

This matters to me.
I believe I’m capable of this.
I think I have something worth contributing.

And then resisting the urge to laugh it off.

That takes practice because courage isn’t always walking into the room with your shoulders back and delivering the perfect pitch.

Sometimes it’s much less dramatic.

Sometimes courage sounds like:

“I led that.”
“I’m proud of what I created.”
“This is something I do well.”
“I’d like to be considered.”

And then stopping. No disclaimer required.

Final Thoughts

There will always be people who promote themselves more loudly than you do.

→ Let them.

The goal isn’t to become the loudest person in the room.

It’s to stop disappearing from your own story.

Other people can’t recognize what you consistently refuse to name.

So the next time you catch yourself saying just, maybe, kind of, or I got lucky, pause.

Ask yourself:

What would I say if I weren’t trying to make this smaller?

Then say the accurate version.

Not the inflated version and not the impressive version.

→ The true one.

Self-promotion isn’t making yourself bigger. It’s refusing to make yourself smaller.

→ Your work can’t speak for itself.

Sometimes you have to speak for it.

Thank you for reading this article.

Until next Sunday,
—Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“Humans are built for redemption. We’re born into imperfection and live it daily, but just as we can make mistakes, we can also learn with enough conviction, we can understand where we went wrong, break from the past, and learn better and kinder ways of existing.” —Yung Pueblo

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Episode - 019 You Don’t Need A Perfect Wellness Routine When You Travel

Jess, The Creator — Fri, 28 Aug 2026 18:32:50 GMT

Editor’s Note: This article is based on Episode 019 of Unstuck to Finding Your Edge, my weekly Substack Live series with Robyn Levin. This week brought two of our worlds together: health, longevity, and travel. We asked a practical question: How do you continue taking care of yourself when you’re away from your normal routine?

At home, taking care of yourself can feel relatively straightforward.

You know what you eat, you know where you exercise, and you have your bed, your schedule, your groceries, and your routines.

Then you travel.

You sit on an airplane for hours.
Meals happen at strange times.
Your sleep schedule changes.
Your gym isn’t there.
You might cross several time zones before you even reach your destination.

Suddenly, the wellness routine you carefully built doesn’t fit your life anymore.

Maybe it doesn’t need to.

The goal of traveling well isn’t to recreate your life at home in a hotel room.

→ The goal to decide which habits matter enough to bring with you.

When your environment changes, simplify the routine instead of abandoning it.

Start Before You Leave

A healthier travel day can begin before you ever reach the airport.

One of the first things Robyn and I discussed was hydration.

→ Instead of waiting until you’re sitting on the airplane to think about water, pay attention to hydration leading up to your trip and continue drinking regularly throughout your travel day.

Another habit I came to appreciate during my years working as a flight nurse?

→ Compression socks.

Long periods of sitting can contribute to leg swelling and discomfort, and compression socks may be useful for some travelers on longer flights.

If you use them, consider putting them on before heading to the airport rather than waiting until you’ve been sitting for hours.

They aren’t appropriate for everyone, and the right compression level matters.

→ If you have circulation problems, cardiovascular conditions, peripheral artery disease, or other medical concerns, talk with your healthcare provider before using them.

The point isn’t to create an elaborate pre-flight health protocol.

It’s simpler than that: Don’t wait until you feel terrible to start taking care of yourself.

Make The Travel Day Work For You

Airports make it remarkably easy to spend an entire day sitting.

At the gate.
At a restaurant.
On the airplane.
Waiting for your connection.

However, an airport is also a giant place to walk.

If you’re able, walk to your gate instead of taking every available shortcut.
Take the stairs.
Explore the terminal during a long layover.
Get up periodically during a long flight when it’s safe and practical to do so.

You don’t have to call any of this a workout.

→ It’s movement built into a day that could otherwise involve hours of sitting.

The same approach works with food.

If you can pack foods or snacks that work for you, great. Solid foods are generally permitted through TSA checkpoints, although restrictions can differ for liquids, gels, international travel, and your destination.

→ If you need to buy something at the airport, make the best choice available.

And if the choices aren’t great?

Eat what you need and move on. (Don’t overeat)

One airport meal does not determine your health.

Dress For The Travel Day You’re Actually Having

One of my personal travel habits is wearing Dri-FIT or similar moisture-wicking clothing to the airport.

→ It’s practical.

Travel days involve walking, carrying luggage, standing in security lines, sitting for hours, and moving between wildly different temperatures.

I’d rather dress like I’m prepared to move.

→ Robyn also pointed out another benefit: lightweight clothing can mean lighter luggage.

You don’t need to dress exactly like I do.

Just pack for the experience you’re actually going to have, not only for how you want to look when you arrive.

Use What’s Already There

Your normal workout routine may not travel with you.

→ Movement can.

Maybe your hotel has a gym. Use it.

No gym?

You still have your body, gravity, the floor, stairs, and whatever happens to be outside the hotel door.

A few squats.
Push-ups.
Yoga.
Laps around the hotel.
A 15-20 minute bodyweight workout.
Planks and wall-sits.

Or forget the formal workout altogether and go explore.

Robyn told me she commonly walks 15,000 to 20,000 steps a day while traveling!!

That’s one of the wonderful things about visiting somewhere new.

Walk through the city.
Explore a museum.
Visit a market.
Hike.
Walk along the water.
Take the stairs on the cruise ship.

And if your hotel or resort offers a pool, walking trail, sauna, yoga, or another wellness amenity you genuinely enjoy, use it.

However, you don’t have to collect wellness activities like vacation merit badges.

→ Wellness doesn’t need to become another itinerary you have to complete.

Use what works. Leave the rest.

Be Careful With The Wellness Shopping List

This was an unexpected, but important part of our conversation.

Travel wellness can quickly become another excuse to buy things.

Supplements.
Powders.
Electrolytes.
Protein drinks.
Sleep aids.
Special travel products.

And suddenly “taking care of yourself” requires an entire second suitcase.

It doesn’t.

Supplements can be useful in appropriate circumstances, but more isn’t automatically better.

→ A recommendation from a friend or social-media post also isn’t the same thing as knowing whether something is appropriate for you.

→ If you’re concerned about a nutrient deficiency or considering a new supplement, that’s a conversation worth having with an appropriate healthcare professional.

Don’t let wellness marketing convince you that you need a cabinet full of products just to be healthy.

The basics travel remarkably well.

Your Travel Wellness Anchors

If your usual routine disappears the moment you leave home, don’t try to rebuild the entire thing.

Keep some anchors.

1. MOVE

Walk the terminal.
Explore on foot.
Take the stairs.
Use the hotel gym.
Do a short workout in your room.

Movement doesn’t have to look the way it does at home to count.

2. EAT

Pack a few foods or snacks that work for you when you can.
Make reasonable choices when they’re available and eat the local food.

One unusual meal, late dinner, or airport sandwich isn’t going to undo your health.

3. HYDRATE

Start before the airport.
Keep water nearby throughout the travel day and continue drinking regularly once you arrive.
Bring an empty water bottle with you through TSA that you refill with water once past security.

Simple and easy to forget, but worth remembering.

4. SLEEP

Travel may disrupt your normal sleep schedule.

Protect your sleep where you reasonably can, without expecting every night away to look like a perfect night at home.

5. ENJOY THE TRIP

Yes. This belongs on the list.

You’re allowed to rest.
You’re allowed to skip a workout.
You’re allowed to stay up later because you’re somewhere extraordinary.
You’re allowed to eat something because it’s delicious and you may never have the chance to eat it there again.

→ A vacation shouldn’t become a health optimization challenge.

Health should support your life, not prevent you from experiencing it.

Just Stick To The Basics

Toward the end of our conversation, Robyn asked me for one final piece of advice.

Mine was simple:

→ “Just stick to the basics.”

Your environment will change.
Your schedule will change.
Your food will change.
Your sleep may change.

That’s travel.

You don’t need to drag your entire routine across the world with you.

→ Keep a few anchors.

Then go experience the place you traveled all that way to see.

→ You don’t need a perfect wellness routine when you travel.

You just need a few healthy habits that know how to travel with you and that you’ll actually do.

In This Episode

In Episode 019 of Unstuck to Finding Your Edge, Robyn and I bring together two of our favorite subjects: longevity and travel.

→ We talk about preparing for long travel days, compression socks, airport food, staying active on the road, Dri-FIT clothing, hotel workouts, walking while exploring, sauna and wellness amenities, supplements, and the growing world of wellness travel.

→ Robyn also shares how she stays active while traveling and some of the destinations and experiences she’s seeing emerge at the intersection of luxury travel and wellness.

→ For more on health, longevity, and becoming an active participant in your well-being, follow NP Fellow Become the CEO of Your Health.

→ For more on personally vetted destinations, standout stays, and places worth discovering, follow Robyn at Rare Finds – Luxury Travel.

↑ Replay Above

Resources From This Conversation

Follow Jess at NP Fellow Become The CEO of Your Health →

Follow Jess at Nurse in the Market →

Follow Jess at Unstuck to Published →

Follow Robyn at Finding Your Edge →

Follow Robyn at Rare Finds - Luxury Travel →

Scan Robyn’s QR code to access her Youtube channel →

Thank You

Thank you so much for everyone who tuned into this live, your presence is truly appreciated, and to the people who are watching the replay, thank you!

See you next Friday at 12pm ET for our weekly show, stay tuned!

-Jess, The Creator & Robyn Levin

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Weekly Skill: The Self Check-In

Jess, The Creator — Wed, 26 Aug 2026 10:32:35 GMT

One grounded internal skill you can practice this week.

Why This Skill Matters

We check in with other people all the time.

“How are you?”
“Are you okay?”
“What do you need?

However, many of us don’t offer ourselves the same attention.

We notice exhaustion once we’re depleted.
Stress once we’re overwhelmed.
Irritation after we’ve snapped at someone.
Hunger after we’ve been running on coffee for six hours.

By then, our body or emotions have usually been trying to get our attention for a while.

This week’s skill is about catching up with yourself sooner.

Before automatically pushing through, before saying yes, and before deciding you’re lazy, difficult, behind, or failing.

→ Take two minutes and find your coordinates.

Then decide what makes sense from there.

What This Skill Is

A Self Check-In is a brief pause to notice what’s true before deciding what to do about it.

You ask three questions:

Where am I?
What am I carrying?
What do I need from here?

That’s it.

You’re not trying to analyze every emotion, you’re not looking for some profound insight about yourself, and you don’t have to fix everything you notice.

You’re gathering information about the person who actually has to live the rest of the day.

The Common Mistake

The moment we notice something uncomfortable, many of us skip straight to management.

I’m exhausted. How do I become more productive?
I’m anxious. How do I make this stop?
I’m struggling. How do I get myself together?

We haven’t even figured out what’s happening yet, and we’re already trying to correct it.

Sometimes action is necessary, but the action gets more useful when it comes from accurate information.

Maybe you don’t need more discipline or maybe you need lunch.

Maybe the reason you’re unusually irritable is that you slept badly and have been moving between meetings all day or maybe you’re not losing motivation.

→ You’ve been carrying something difficult all week.

Sometimes you don’t know you’re running on empty because nobody, including you, has stopped to check.

The Practice: Three Questions

1. Where Am I?✍️

Start with what’s true right now.

Ask:

What am I noticing in my mind, body, or emotions?

Maybe:

I’m exhausted.
I’m anxious about tomorrow.
I’m irritated.
I’m having trouble concentrating.
I feel calmer than I did yesterday.
I actually feel pretty good today.

No explanation yet.

And no:

I shouldn’t feel this way.
Why am I like this?
I need to get over it.

Just locate yourself.

This is where I am.

2. What Am I Carrying?✍️

Now give yourself context.

What might be contributing to where you are?

Maybe you haven’t slept well.
You’ve had three difficult conversations this week.
Work has been relentless.
You’re waiting for news.
Someone you love needs more from you than usual.
You’ve been saying yes when you wanted to say no.
Or maybe something good is taking up space, too.
You’re excited.
Anticipating a change.
Working toward something that matters to you.

Not everything we carry is bad, but it still asks something from us.

→ This question helps separate: Why can’t I handle this better?

→ from: I’m carrying more than usual right now.

One is a verdict. The other gives you information.

3. What Do I Need From Here?✍️

Now you can respond.

Ask:

Given where I am and what I’m carrying, what makes sense next?

Maybe:

I need to eat.
I need twenty minutes alone.
I need to ask for help.
I need to stop saying yes today.
I need to make the appointment.
I need to have the conversation I’ve been avoiding.
I need to go to bed earlier tonight.

Or maybe:

I’m okay. I can keep going.

That counts, too.

A Self Check-In doesn’t mean every difficult feeling requires a bubble bath, a boundary, and the cancellation of your afternoon.

→ Sometimes you check in and discover that nothing needs changing.

→ Sometimes you need to adjust.

The point is to make the next decision from where you actually are.

Try It On Paper

If you’re having trouble hearing yourself clearly, divide a page into three sections:

WHERE AM I?

What’s true right now?

WHAT AM I CARRYING?

What might be contributing to this?

WHAT DO I NEED FROM HERE?

What makes sense given where I actually am?

✍️For example:

WHERE AM I?

I’m irritable and having trouble concentrating.

WHAT AM I CARRYING?

I slept badly, skipped lunch, and I’ve been moving between meetings all day.

WHAT DO I NEED FROM HERE?

Eat something. Take ten minutes away from my screen. Then decide what actually needs to be finished today.

That’s it. No revelation required.

You noticed what was happening before deciding you were lazy, unmotivated, or somehow failing at Tuesday.

This Week’s Practice

Once a day for the next week, take two minutes and check in.

Ask yourself:

Where am I?
What am I carrying?
What do I need from here?

You can choose the same time each day, or use moments when you notice yourself moving into autopilot.

Especially try the self check-in before:

Automatically saying yes.
Pushing through exhaustion.
Reacting during a difficult moment.
Reaching for another distraction.
Turning how you feel into a conclusion about who you are.

You don’t need a perfect answer. You just need an honest one.

Signs It’s Working

You’ll know the practice is becoming useful when you start catching yourself earlier.

Before exhaustion becomes depletion.
Before irritation becomes an argument.
Before I’m struggling today becomes What’s wrong with me?

You notice sooner. So you can respond sooner.

The One-Line Reorientation

→ “Meet yourself before you manage yourself.”

When To Use This Skill

A Self Check-In can be especially useful when you feel off, but don’t know why.

When you’re about to make a decision from frustration.
When you keep pushing despite knowing something needs your attention.
When you’re telling yourself you should be handling things differently.
Or simply when it’s been a while since you asked yourself how you’re actually doing.

You don’t need to wait until something is wrong to check in.

Sometimes the answer is: I’m good.

Notice that too.

Why This Compounds Over Time

The value of checking in isn’t the two minutes themselves.

→ It’s what you begin noticing before those two minutes are necessary.

You recognize your limits earlier.
You get better at noticing what affects your energy.
You get better at recognizing what affects your capacity before automatically demanding more from it.

And you have better information when it’s time to decide what comes next.

Closing Reflection

You won’t always be able to change what you find.

→ Sometimes you’ll check in and realize you’re tired on a day that still requires something from you.

→ Sometimes you’ll need something you can’t have immediately.

The check-in isn’t valuable because it fixes what you find.

It gives you better information about what to do next.

So ask:

Where am I?
What am I carrying?
What do I need from here?

Meet yourself before you manage yourself.

Thank you for reading this article.

— Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“Periodically, you’ll need to heal your motivations. It takes a significant amount of honesty with yourself to realize that greed and fear have crept too far into the center of your mind. Needing to reconnect yourself with your best intentions doesn’t mean you’re moving backwards; it just means you’re human.” —Yung Pueblo

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Meet Yourself Where You Are

Jess, The Creator — Sun, 23 Aug 2026 22:03:59 GMT

“Being able to see yourself as you’re moving through your own emotional spectrum is an essential quality to cultivate.”

🫶 A Note from Me

Hi, I’m Jessica.

I write NP Fellow Become The CEO of Your Health— a weekly mental health and functional medicine newsletter about building a healthier relationship with your mind, your body, and yourself.

We spend a lot of time thinking about who we’re becoming.

Who we want to be.
Where we want to go.
What we still need to change.

Growth matters, but in our rush to become the next version of ourselves, we can stop recognizing the person who has to live today.

→ This week is about starting there.

With the person who is actually here.

Subscribe now

🚨🔊My New Annual Summer Vibes playlist - 2026 edit is now out on Spotify along with my podcast called NP Fellow Collective!

Meet Yourself Where You Are

There is often a gap between where we are and where we think we should be.

I should be further along.
I should be handling this better.
I shouldn’t still feel this way.
I should have figured this out by now.

The problem isn’t simply that we notice the gap.

We start using it as evidence.

“I’m behind, I’m failing, or something must be wrong with me.”

Where we are stops being information and becomes an indictment and once that happens, it becomes much harder to see ourselves clearly.

Self-recognition asks for something simpler: Start with what is actually true.

Recognition Comes Before Change

Imagine opening a map and asking for directions without knowing your current location.

You might know exactly where you want to go, but without a starting point, the directions are useless.

Growth works the same way.

Before deciding what needs to change, you need some coordinates.

What am I feeling?
What am I carrying?
What is working?
What isn’t?
What do I have capacity for right now?

→ These are questions of orientation.

You have to know where you are before you can decide where to go next.

Make Plans For The Person Who Actually Exists

Say you planned to work out five mornings this week.

It’s Thursday and you haven’t gone once.

The conclusion arrives quickly:

I need more discipline.

Maybe.

But look again.

You’ve slept six hours a night.
Work has been brutal.
Someone you love needs more from you than usual.
Your body is exhausted.

None of that means you abandon the goal.

It means you stop making decisions for an imaginary version of yourself who has unlimited energy, perfect sleep, no stress, and apparently nothing unexpected ever happens to them.

Lovely person.

Doesn’t live here.

Maybe today the right choice is a twenty-minute walk, maybe it’s sleep, or maybe you return to the gym next week.

→ The point is that the decision finally comes from reality instead of accusation.

Meet the person who is actually here. Then build from there.

Self-Awareness Isn’t A Verdict

There is a difference between noticing something and deciding what it says about you.

Self-awareness says:

→ I’m exhausted.

Judgment says:

I shouldn’t be this tired.

Self-awareness says:

→ I’m struggling with this.

Judgment says:

I should be better at this by now.

One gives you information.

The other immediately puts you on trial.

And when every observation becomes an evaluation, seeing yourself accurately gets almost impossible.

→ Sometimes the useful move is simply: This is what is happening.

No verdict required.

We Give Other People Context

We’re often surprisingly generous when we look at someone else.

Of course she’s exhausted. Look at what she’s carrying.
Of course he’s struggling. This is new for him.
Of course they need time. They’ve been through a lot.

Then we turn toward ourselves.

Get it together.

→ We give other people context.

→ We give ourselves a verdict.

However, your circumstances don’t stop mattering because they belong to you.

Neither does your capacity and neither does the fact that you’re human.

→ Seeing those things clearly doesn’t excuse every choice you make.

It tells you what you’re actually working with.

Meeting Yourself Here Doesn’t Mean Staying Here

This is where the fear usually shows up.

If I acknowledge where I am, will I get stuck here?

No.

→ Acknowledging reality gives you somewhere real to begin.

You can say:

“This is hard for me right now.”

And decide what support you need.

You can recognize:

→ I don’t have capacity for this today.

And revisit it tomorrow.

You can admit:

“I’m not where I want to be yet.”

Without turning that distance into proof that you’re failing.

You can’t make a useful decision from coordinates you refuse to admit you’re standing at.

Change The Question

When you notice yourself slipping into should, try getting curious about what is actually happening.

Instead of:

“What’s wrong with me?”

Ask:

“What’s happening with me?"

Instead of:

“Why can’t I handle this better?”

Ask:

“What is this asking of me right now?”

Instead of:

“Why am I not further along?”

Ask:

“Where am I, honestly?”

The goal isn’t to excuse everything you find.

→ The goal is to understand what you’re working with.

Then you can decide what comes next.

Final Thoughts

There will always be another version of you to imagine.

One that is more confident, more capable, and further along.

However, that person doesn’t have to live today.

You do.

So before deciding what needs fixing, ask:

Where am I, honestly?
What am I carrying?
What do I need from here?

Growth can come next.

First, find your coordinates.

This is where I am. Now I can decide where to go.

Thank you for reading this article.

Until next Sunday,
—Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“You need your own definition of happiness. One that reconnects you with the beauty of where you are now and doesn’t postpone your joy until you accomplish something in the future. One that is centered on embracing and not striving.” —Yung Pueblo

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Episode - 018 The Best Workout Is The One You’ll Actually Keep Doing

Jess, The Creator — Fri, 21 Aug 2026 23:54:11 GMT

Editor’s Note: This article is based on Episode 018 of Unstuck to Finding Your Edge, my weekly Substack Live series with Robyn Levin. This week, we talked about something that should be simple, but has become surprisingly complicated: exercise. We shared how we actually move, what has remained sustainable over time, and why working out for longevity may be less about finding the perfect routine and more about building movement into your life.

Exercise has become complicated.

There are workout programs, gyms, trackers, supplements, recovery protocols, expensive equipment, and endless opinions about the “best” way to train.

Meanwhile, some of the most useful forms of movement remain incredibly simple.

Walk.
Carry something.
Climb a hill.
Do a squat.
Get outside.
Move your body.

During this week’s Live, Robyn and I realized that despite having very different routines, we share a similar philosophy:

→ Work with what you have and what you can do.

Because the workout that looks perfect on paper isn’t particularly useful if you can’t—or won’t—keep doing it.

Start With Walking

If you’re trying to become more active, you don’t necessarily need to begin with a workout program.

Start by walking.

Twenty minutes counts.
Thirty minutes counts.
Walking around your neighborhood counts.
Walking while traveling counts.

Robyn is a great example of what happens when movement becomes part of everyday life.

She doesn’t own a car, so walking isn’t always something she has to schedule as “exercise.” It’s simply how she gets places.

There’s an important lesson in that:

→ The more naturally movement fits into your life, the less motivation you need to make it happen.

You don’t have to replicate someone else’s routine. Find the version that works in yours.

Make Movement Progressively Harder

Once walking feels manageable, you don’t necessarily need to jump straight into running or an intense workout.

You can make the movement you’re already doing more challenging.

Walk → add incline → add weight → add time.

That’s one reason I’ve come to love rucking.

Rucking is essentially walking with weight.

I use a weighted backpack, which turns an ordinary walk into something more demanding without making the workout complicated and living in South Florida, I’ve had to get creative with incline.

We don’t exactly have mountains.

So I’ve used bridges, causeways, and even a local park built over an old landfill to create hills.

Is it glamorous?

No.

Does gravity know the difference?

Also no.

That’s the point.

Use what you have.

A bridge can become a hill.
Stairs can become your incline.
A backpack can add resistance.
A treadmill can mimic terrain you don’t have outside.

You don’t always need a different workout.

Sometimes you just need to make the movement you’re already doing a little harder.

Don’t Forget Strength

Walking is a wonderful foundation, but longevity isn’t only about cardiovascular exercise.

Strength matters too.

This was another big part of our conversation: maintaining muscle and continuing to challenge the body as we get older, and once again, it doesn’t have to be complicated.

Squats.
Push-ups or an assisted version.
Planks.
Lunges.
Bodyweight exercises.
Resistance training.

You can certainly use dumbbells, machines, or a gym if you enjoy them, but you don’t need all of that to begin.

As I said during the Live:

“All you really need is gravity and space.”

→ A hotel room can become a workout space, so can your living room, and so can your backyard.

The goal isn’t to build the most sophisticated strength routine.

The goal is to make strength a regular part of how you move.

Try The Health Stack

This was my favorite idea to come out of our conversation.

I realized that I’ve naturally started stacking health benefits into the same activity.

Take rucking outside.

I’m not only walking.

I’m walking with resistance, often on an incline, while getting sunlight, fresh air, and time outdoors.

Hiking does something similar.

You’re moving your body, challenging your cardiovascular system, navigating changing terrain, spending time in nature, getting away from your screens, and often decompressing mentally at the same time.

I think of this as a Health Stack.

Instead of always asking:

What’s the perfect workout?

Try asking:

How many useful things can I naturally combine?

Walk with a friend.
Take your workout outside.
Carry some weight on your walk.
Choose stairs instead of flat ground.
Go for a hike instead of spending another hour indoors.

→ Exercise doesn’t have to exist in a separate little box labeled fitness.

It can be part of how you socialize, travel, commute, spend time outside, or clear your head and when one activity gives you multiple reasons to enjoy it, it may become much easier to keep doing.

Stop Chasing The Perfect Workout

During the Live, Robyn and I also laughed about workout clothes.

Matching sets, expensive leggings, and special shoes.

The entire culture that can build up around fitness.

And if those things make you excited to exercise?

Great. Use them.

However, don’t confuse the accessories with the activity.

You don’t need the perfect outfit.
You don’t need an expensive gym membership.
You don’t need a wearable.
You don’t need an hour.
You don’t need to exercise exactly the way someone on the internet tells you to.

You need something you’ll actually do.

Some people love running and some hate it.

Some love the gym and others would rather hike, swim, cycle, walk, practice yoga, play a sport, or exercise at home.

That’s why Robyn and I kept coming back to the same idea throughout the episode:

→ Find what works for your body, your environment, and your life.

Then make it repeatable.

The Goal Is To Become Someone Who Moves

This is where I think exercise becomes much more interesting.

At first, working out can feel like another task.

I have to exercise today.

You schedule it, you negotiate with yourself, and you try to find motivation, but if you keep going long enough, something can change.

→ Movement becomes part of your routine. Then part of your lifestyle. Eventually, maybe even part of how you see yourself.

As I said during the Live:

“Once working out becomes part of your routine and part of your life and part of who you are... nothing really matters as long as you just get it done.”

That doesn’t mean every workout is great.

Some days you have 45 minutes.
Some days you walk.
Some days you lift.
Some days you do yoga.
Some days you have twenty minutes and that’s what you use.

→ It still counts.

Longevity isn’t built in one spectacular workout.

Longevity’s built through what you’re willing and able to return to.

So start where you are.
Use what you have.
Make it a little harder when you’re ready.
Add strength.
Stack the benefits when you can.

And above all, keep moving because eventually the goal isn’t to become someone who follows the perfect workout routine.

The goal is to become someone who moves.

In This Episode

In Episode 018 of Unstuck to Finding Your Edge, Robyn and I share how we actually approach exercise from walking, yoga, strength training, and rucking to outdoor movement, sauna, cold exposure, and recovery.

We also talk about making fitness work while traveling, why exercise doesn’t require expensive equipment, and how our routines have evolved as we’ve gotten older.

↑ Replay Above

Resources From This Conversation

Important articles about movement, rucking, cold therapy, the sauna, and longevity →

Follow Jess at NP Fellow Become The CEO of Your Health →

Follow Jess at Nurse in the Market →

Follow Jess at Unstuck to Published →

Follow Robyn at Finding Your Edge →

Follow Robyn at Rare Finds - Luxury Travel →

Scan Robyn’s QR code to access her Youtube channel →

Thank You

Thank you so much for everyone who tuned into this live, your presence is truly appreciated, and to the people who are watching the replay, thank you!

See you next Friday at 12pm ET for our weekly show, stay tuned!

-Jess, The Creator & Robyn Levin

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Weekly Skill: Quieting Your Inner Critic

Jess, The Creator — Wed, 19 Aug 2026 10:02:10 GMT

One grounded internal skill you can practice this week.

Why This Skill Matters

You make a mistake and almost immediately, your mind has something to say about it.

You should’ve known better.
That was stupid.
Why do you always do this?
Everyone else seems to have this figured out.

Sometimes the criticism is obvious.

Other times, it sounds almost responsible.

You really need to get it together.
You should be better at this by now.
There’s no excuse for that.

Because these thoughts happen in our own minds, we rarely stop to question who’s doing the talking.

We simply absorb them.

→ However a thought isn’t automatically true because you thought it and criticism isn’t automatically useful because it sounds like accountability.

This week’s skill is about learning to separate the useful information inside a difficult moment from the attack you add afterward because sometimes there’s something to learn, sometimes something needs to change, and sometimes you simply made a human mistake.

The skill is learning to know the difference.

What This Skill Is

Quieting your inner critic doesn’t mean eliminating negative thoughts.

It doesn’t mean replacing every difficult thought with a positive affirmation and it certainly doesn’t mean convincing yourself that everything you do is okay.

It’s much more practical than that.

→ You learn to notice what happened.

→ Then you notice what you’re saying about yourself because it happened.

Those aren’t always the same thing.

Maybe the truth is:

→ I wasn’t prepared.

The attack is:

I’m incompetent.

Maybe the truth is:

→ I regret what I said.

The attack is:

I ruin every relationship.

Maybe the truth is:

→ I made a mistake.

The attack is:

There’s something wrong with me.

The goal isn’t to make the truth prettier.

The goal is to stop adding cruelty to it.

Listen For The Tone, Too

Not every inner critic screams.

Sometimes it sounds perfectly reasonable.

You really should’ve known better.
Come on. You can do better than this.
There’s no reason you should still be struggling with this.

The words may not sound particularly vicious.

→ So pay attention to the tone.

Ask yourself:

Would I say this, in this tone, to someone I was genuinely trying to help?

→ If the answer is no, pay attention.

Criticism doesn’t stop being criticism just because it put on a blazer and called itself accountability.

The Practice: Catch → Find → Choose

The next time you notice yourself spiraling after a mistake, don’t try to silence the thought.

Do three things.

1. Catch The Attack

Start with exactly what you said to yourself.

Don’t clean it up and don’t make it sound reasonable.

Catch the actual sentence.

I’m such an idiot.
I always screw this up.
I can’t do anything right.
Everyone probably thinks I’m incompetent.

→ If you can, write it down.

Seeing the words in front of you can make it easier to recognize that you’re having a thought rather than simply accepting the thought as truth.

Then ask:

→ What am I saying about myself because of what happened?

That’s the attack.

2. Find The Truth

Now strip away the judgment and ask:

What actually happened?

Maybe:

I rushed and missed something important.
I wasn’t prepared enough.
I interrupted someone because I was defensive.
I forgot something I said I’d do.
I tried something and it didn’t work.

→ Stay with the facts.

Then ask:

Is there anything useful for me to learn here?

Maybe the answer is:

Next time I need to slow down.
I need to prepare differently.
I owe someone an apology.
I need to communicate sooner instead of waiting until I’m overwhelmed.

→ That’s useful information. Keep it.

You don’t have to keep the cruelty to learn from it.

3. Choose The Response

Once you know what’s actually true, ask:

What, if anything, needs to happen next?

Maybe you need to apologize.
Correct the mistake.
Ask for help.
Prepare differently.
Set a boundary.
Rest.
Try again.

Or maybe...nothing needs to happen.

That matters also because not every mistake contains a profound lesson.

Sometimes you drop the glass.
Forget someone’s name.
Miss the exit.
Say something awkward.
Have an unproductive day.

→ You’re allowed to be a human being without turning every imperfect moment into a character investigation.

If there’s something useful to learn, learn it.
If there’s something to repair, repair it.
If there’s nothing left to do?

Let yourself move on.

Try It On Paper

This week, divide a journal page into three sections:

THE ATTACK

What am I saying to myself?

THE TRUTH

What actually happened?

THE RESPONSE

What, if anything, needs to happen next?

✍️For example:

THE ATTACK

I can’t believe I made that mistake. I’m terrible at this.

THE TRUTH

I rushed and missed an important detail.

THE RESPONSE

I’ll correct the mistake and slow down before sending it next time.

✍️Another example:

THE ATTACK

I’m so behind. Everyone else is doing better than I am.

THE TRUTH

I’m not where I hoped I’d be yet, and I’m comparing myself to people whose circumstances I don’t fully know.

THE RESPONSE

I can decide what my next step is without using someone else’s progress to punish myself.

✍️And sometimes it may look like this:

THE ATTACK

I can’t believe I said that. I’m so awkward.

THE TRUTH

I stumbled over my words in a conversation.

THE RESPONSE

Nothing. The conversation is over. I can let it go.

That’s a response too.

This Week’s Practice

For the next seven days, catch one self-critical thought each day.

Not every thought.

We’re not turning your brain into a surveillance operation.

Just one.

Then move through:

Catch the attack.
Find the truth.
Choose the response.

That’s enough.

The goal isn’t to become someone who never criticizes themselves again.

The goal to become someone who notices the criticism before automatically handing it authority.

Signs It’s Working

You may notice that you:

Catch harsh self-talk sooner.
Separate what happened from what you’re making it mean about you.
Recover from mistakes more quickly.
Take responsibility without spiraling into shame.
Recognize when something actually needs correcting.
Let smaller mistakes go without turning them into evidence against yourself.

Your inner critic may still show up.

Success isn’t never hearing it again.

Success is realizing you don’t have to believe everything your inner critic says.

The One-Line Reorientation

→ “Keep the lesson. Lose the cruelty.”

When To Use This Skill

Use this practice when:

You make a mistake and immediately start attacking yourself.
You notice yourself replaying something embarrassing.
You’re disappointed in your performance.
You’ve received criticism or difficult feedback.
You’re comparing yourself to someone else.
You know you need to take responsibility but shame is taking over.
A small mistake is starting to feel like evidence about who you are.

→ Especially notice the moments when your criticism feels deserved.

Those are often the moments when it’s hardest to separate accountability from punishment.

Why This Compounds Over Time

Every time you catch the attack and return to what is actually true, you practice a different relationship with yourself.

You still notice mistakes, you still have standards, and you still take responsibility, but you stop requiring humiliation as proof that you care.

Over time, the question begins to change.

Instead of:

What’s wrong with me?

You become more likely to ask:

What happened?
What can I learn?
What needs to happen next?

Those questions give you somewhere to go. Shame usually doesn’t.

Closing Reflection

Your inner critic may still show up.

That’s not failure.

→ The practice is noticing what it says before automatically treating it as truth.

Sometimes there will be something useful underneath the criticism.

Learn from it, repair what needs repairing, and change what needs changing.

And if there’s nothing left to learn?

→ Let yourself move on.

Keep the lesson. Lose the cruelty.

Thank you for reading this article.

— Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“It’s easy to get lost in the infinite space of hypotheticals. Instead of focusing too much on what if, ground yourself in what is.” —Yung Pueblo

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Being Hard On Yourself Isn't Making You Stronger

Jess, The Creator — Sun, 16 Aug 2026 10:02:43 GMT

“If existing takes every ounce of your energy, then that alone is heroic work.”

♥️ A Note from Me

Hi, I’m Jessica.

I write NP Fellow Become The CEO of Your Health— a weekly mental health and functional medicine newsletter about building a healthier relationship with your mind, your body, and yourself.

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that being hard on ourselves was useful.

It kept us disciplined, motivated, accountable, and maybe even successful.

So the idea of being kinder to ourselves can feel suspicious.

If I stop pushing myself this hard, will I still accomplish anything?
If I forgive myself too quickly, am I letting myself off the hook?
If I stop criticizing myself, will I stop growing?

However, there is a difference between expecting something from yourself and attacking yourself when you fall short.

→ This week, we’re exploring that difference because self-compassion doesn’t require lowering your standards.

It asks whether cruelty was ever necessary to reach them.

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🚨🔊My New Annual Summer Vibes playlist - 2026 edit is now out on Spotify along with my podcast called NP Fellow Collective!

Being Hard On Yourself Isn’t Making You Stronger

You make a mistake, you miss the opportunity, and you say the wrong thing.

You don’t perform as well as you expected and before you’ve even had time to process what happened, another voice arrives:

“You should have known better.”
“What were you thinking?”
“You always do this.”

→ For many of us, that voice feels strangely responsible.

We call it accountability, discipline, and high standards.

We believe it’s the voice keeping us from becoming careless.

So we listen to it and maybe, probably, we’ve listened to it for years.

The problem is that self-criticism and accountability aren’t the same thing.

Accountability Says What Happened.

Shame Says Who You Are.

There is an enormous difference between:

“I made a mistake”

and

“I’m a failure.”

One describes something that happened and the other turns what happened into evidence about who you are.

→ Accountability asks:

What happened?
What was my responsibility?
What needs to change?
What can I do differently next time?

Self-criticism often adds something else: Punishment.

Punishment isn’t required for growth.

→ You can regret something without humiliating yourself and you can admit that you handled something badly without deciding you’re a bad person.

→ You can expect better from yourself without treating your mistake as evidence that you’re not good enough.

The mistake may need correcting and your behavior may need changing.

Something may even need repairing, but none of that requires you to become your own enemy.

Why The Inner Critic Feels Useful

The inner critic has a convincing argument:

If I’m not hard on myself, I won’t improve.

And if you’re someone who expects a lot from yourself, you may have years of evidence that seems to prove it.

Maybe fear of failure made you prepare harder.
Maybe perfectionism kept you from turning in work you weren’t proud of.
Maybe criticism pushed you through difficult seasons.
Maybe you’ve accomplished things while a voice inside you constantly said: Better, more, or not good enough yet.

So of course letting go of that voice can feel dangerous.

What happens to your ambition without it?
What happens to your standards?
What happens to everything you’ve built?

→ However, there’s another question worth asking.

Was the criticism actually responsible for your success?

What If It Wasn’t The Criticism That Made You Successful?

Maybe you’ve been hard on yourself for years and maybe you’ve also accomplished a lot.

It’s easy to put those two facts together and assume one caused the other.

“I got here because I pushed myself.”
“I succeeded because I never let myself off the hook.”
“If I’d been easier on myself, I wouldn’t be where I am.”

But what if that’s not the whole story?

What if you succeeded because you cared?

Because you practiced.
Because you were persistent.
Because you learned.
Because you prepared.
Because you kept showing up when things were difficult.

What if those were the qualities moving you forward and the criticism was simply there, too?

Maybe you didn’t succeed because you were hard on yourself.
Maybe you succeeded while being hard on yourself.

Those are very different stories and if you’ve spent years giving your inner critic credit for everything you’ve accomplished, it may be worth asking what that voice has cost you too.

The anxiety around mistakes.
The fear of getting something wrong.
The inability to enjoy an accomplishment before immediately moving the bar.
The feeling that no matter how much you do, you should somehow have done more.

Achievement doesn’t automatically prove that the way you treated yourself to get there was necessary.

What Self-Compassion Actually Is

Self-compassion isn’t pretending everything is fine.

It isn’t avoiding responsibility.
It isn’t telling yourself you’re amazing when you don’t believe it.
And it isn’t looking at something you genuinely regret and saying: Oh well.

→ Self-compassion is refusing to turn a difficult moment into evidence against yourself.

You can say:

“That hurt.”
“I didn’t handle that the way I wanted to.”
“I’m disappointed in what I did.”
“I need to apologize.”
“I need to do better next time.”

And stop there.

Without adding:

“I’m such an idiot.”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“I ruin everything.”
“I’ll never get this right.”

You haven’t removed accountability.

You’ve removed the attack.

The Mistake Takes A Minute.

The Punishment Can Last All Day.

Imagine you make a mistake at work.

Maybe you rushed.
Missed an important detail.
Sent something before checking it carefully enough.

→ The useful information might take thirty seconds:

“I rushed.”
“I missed something.”
“Next time, I need to slow down and check my work before I send it.”

That’s accountability, but then another conversation begins.

“How did I miss that?”
“That was so stupid.”
“Everyone probably thinks I’m incompetent.”
“I should be better at this by now.”

Three hours later, you’re still replaying it, but which part actually helped you improve?

→ The correction, or the three hours you spent making yourself feel terrible?

We often bundle the two together and call the whole thing accountability, but it isn’t.

One helps you respond to the mistake. The other makes you suffer for having made one.

You Can Be Kind & Still Have Standards

Self-compassion doesn’t ask you to lower the bar.

It changes what happens when you don’t clear it.

Instead of:

“How could I be so stupid?”

You can ask:

→ “What happened, and what can I learn from it?”

Instead of:

“I’m terrible at this.”

You can say:

→ “That didn’t go well. What needs to change?”

Instead of:

“I always screw things up.”

You can ask:

→ What is actually mine to take responsibility for here?

The standard remains.

The cruelty doesn’t and without shame consuming the entire conversation, you may have more room to do the thing accountability was supposed to help you do in the first place:

Learn.
Repair.
Adjust.
Try again.

A Different Kind of Strength

Maybe strength isn’t how much criticism you can tolerate from yourself and maybe it’s being able to look directly at something you’re not proud of without turning away from yourself.

To admit:

“I was wrong.”
“I need to change this.”
“I could have handled that better.”

And still remain on your own side.

That’s harder than punishment sometimes.

→ Punishment gives us somewhere to put the discomfort.

We can attack ourselves and feel as though we’ve done something about what happened, but self-compassion asks us to stay.

To tolerate the disappointment.
Take responsibility.
Make the repair.
Learn what needs to be learned.
And continue without requiring self-hatred as payment for the mistake.

Life will give us plenty of moments when we fall short.

We don’t need to make those moments heavier by becoming another source of harm.

Final Thoughts

The next time you fall short, pay attention to what happens next.

→ What actually needs correcting and what are you adding simply because you’ve learned that mistakes require punishment?

You can regret what happened, repair what needs repairing, learn from it, and try differently next time.

None of that requires you to become cruel.

You can hold yourself accountable without becoming your own punishment.

Thank you for reading this article.

Until next Sunday,
—Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“Be honest with yourself about where you are going, how you want to feel while you are heading there, and who you want to be when you arrive.” —Yung Pueblo

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Episode - 017 Before You Pitch A Sponsor, Do These 7 Things

Jess, The Creator — Sat, 15 Aug 2026 02:41:05 GMT

Editor’s Note: This article is based on Episode 017 of Unstuck to Finding Your Edge, my weekly Substack Live series with Robyn Levin of Finding Your Edge. Last week, Robyn challenged me to build a dream list of companies I’d love to work with. I did the homework. This week, I learned why making the list was the easy part.

Last week, Robyn gave me homework.

→ Build a list of companies I’d genuinely want to work with.

So I did.

Thorne.
Nike.
Apple.
Oura.
GORUCK.
Dr Teal’s.
Spotify.
A few smaller health and wellness brands and several others.

I also built a second list of people I’d love to interview on my podcast—or whose podcasts I’d love to appear on.

I had the names, I had the ideas, and I was ready for the next step.

Then Robyn told me:

“Don’t pitch anyone yet.”

Well, damn. 😂

Because apparently having a dream sponsor list and being ready to approach those sponsors are two very different things.

→ Before I email anyone, I need to know why they should care about NP Fellow Become the CEO of Your Health.

What I could actually offer them.
Why their company makes sense for my audience.
What proof I have that the partnership could work.
Who the hell I’m supposed to email in the first place.

That’s what Episode 017 became about.

→ Not how to land a sponsor, but what to do before you ever ask for one.

And the process is much simpler when you break it down.

1. Find The Fit

When you have a dream company in mind, it’s tempting to jump straight to:

How much should I charge them?

Wrong question.

Robyn had me start with two others:

Why me?
Why them?

→ Why does your publication make sense for this company and why does this company make sense for your audience?

That’s where the partnership starts.

Nike was one of the biggest companies on my dream list.

My original reasoning?

I love Nike, I wear Nike shoes, I work out in Nike clothes, and I’ve worn the brand for as long as I can remember.

Cool. So have millions of other people.

That’s not a partnership story.

Then Robyn kept asking:

Why Nike?

And the deeper we went, the more connections appeared.

I’ve been wearing Nike since elementary school.
I grew up playing competitive hockey and have spent most of my life as an athlete.
Sports, movement, discipline, health, and mindset naturally overlap with what I write about at NP Fellow.
Nike is all over my family’s closets.
I even have Nike artwork in my office.

And then another piece surfaced during the Live.

→ My dad used to design shoes. 🐐

He’s part of the reason my family became interested in them in the first place.

Suddenly, I like Nike wasn’t the story anymore.

There was history.

Athletics.
Family.
Health.
Mindset.
A real relationship with the brand.

You don’t need a childhood story about every company you approach, but you should be able to answer:

→ Why did this company make my list in the first place?

If the only answer is because they have money, keep looking.

2. Define What You Can Actually Offer

Once you know why the partnership makes sense, ask:

→ What could we actually create together?

This is where I had been thinking too narrowly.

Sponsorship doesn’t have to mean sticking a traditional ad in the middle of a newsletter.

For NP Fellow, Robyn and I talked about possibilities like:

Sponsoring an individual Sunday article
Sponsoring my Weekly Skill series
A podcast sponsorship
A host-read podcast message
A longer-term partnership
Products or gift cards for readers
Sponsoring a reader challenge

That last one got my attention.

Imagine a health or fitness company contributing products to a challenge for NP Fellow readers.

→ The readers get something useful.

→ The company reaches people who are relevant to what they sell.

→NP Fellow gets to create an experience for the community.

Now we’re not talking about selling a rectangle in an email.

We’re talking about creating something together.

So before you ask:

How much can I charge?

Ask:

What could I create that would be valuable to this company AND my audience?

Price comes later.

3. Bring Proof

You know your audience is valuable.

The company you’re approaching doesn’t know that yet.

→ Give them a reason to believe you.

Robyn’s next homework assignment for me was to go through my publications and find evidence.

Strong-performing articles.
Views.
Engagement.
Comments.
Shares.
Downloads.
Subscriber growth.
Audience response.

And, when possible, content that’s directly connected to the company I’m approaching.

I’ve written about Nike before in my stock-market publication.

If those pieces performed well, that’s useful.

Now I’m not saying:

I think my readers would care about Nike.

I can show evidence that they already have.

I did push back on relying too heavily on email open rates because Substack readers don’t only consume publications through email. They may read through the app or elsewhere on the platform.

That led to an important point:

→ One metric doesn’t tell the entire story.

You don’t need to dump a spreadsheet of analytics on a potential sponsor.

You need enough evidence to show that the opportunity you’re describing isn’t something you invented five minutes before sending the email.

4. Find A Person, Not An Inbox

This is the part I wouldn’t have known how to navigate on my own.

You have the company.
You understand the fit.
You have an idea.
You have proof.

Now...

→ Who do you contact?

Robyn’s advice was simple:

“Avoid blindly throwing your pitch into a generic company inbox if you can.”

Investigate first.
Look at the company’s website.
Search for departments or programs related to:
- Partnerships.
- Collaborations.
- Creators.
- Affiliates.
- Influencers.
- Marketing.
- Check LinkedIn.
- Look through the company’s social accounts.

→ Try to identify the department, or better yet, the person who handles the kind of partnership you’re proposing.

And Robyn gave me another route I hadn’t considered.

→ An affiliate department can be an entry point even if you don’t want to become an affiliate.

You could contact them and say:

“I see you have an affiliate program. I have a different partnership idea for my publication. Who would be the best person to speak with?”

→ You’re not pitching yet. You’re finding the door.

As I said during the Live:

“It’s getting your foot in the door.”

5. Remember: The First Email Isn’t The Pitch

This may have been the biggest shift for me.

I thought the first email was the pitch.

Robyn reframed the entire thing.

→ The first email isn’t the pitch. It’s the introduction.

That changes everything.

You don’t need to cram your life story, media kit, pricing, audience demographics, six sponsorship packages, and a desperate PLEASE RESPOND into one email.

→ You’re opening a conversation.

Your first contact needs to answer a few basic questions:

Who are you?
Why them?
Why you?
What opportunity do you see?

That’s enough to start.

Maybe the next step is another email.
Maybe it’s a phone call.
Maybe it’s a meeting.
Maybe they ask for your media kit or a proposal.

The immediate goal isn’t necessarily to close the sponsorship.

→ The goal is to get the right person interested enough to continue the conversation.

That made pitching feel a hell of a lot less intimidating.

6. Make The Opportunity Obvious

A company shouldn’t have to reverse-engineer your email to understand why you’re contacting them.

Make the connection easy to see.

At its simplest:

Here’s my audience.
Here’s why your company fits.
Here’s what we could create.
Here’s why it could benefit you.

That’s it.

You’re not asking a company to invent the partnership for you.

You’re showing them an opportunity they may not have considered.

7. Build A Sponsorship Pipeline

Once you start researching and contacting multiple companies, your brain is no longer an acceptable CRM. 😂

→ Track the process.

At minimum, keep:

You want to know:

Who did I contact?
When?
Did they respond?
Who is the correct person?
When should I follow up?
What did we discuss?
What happens next?

Because a dream list is just a list.

It becomes a strategy when you start putting names, dates, actions, and outcomes beside it.

The Before-You-Pitch Framework

So here’s the process I’m following now:

1. Choose the company.
Start with brands that genuinely overlap with your publication and audience.

2. Find the fit.
Answer: Why me? Why them?

3. Define your value.
Know what you bring beyond your subscriber count.

4. Create the opportunity.
Decide what you and the company could actually do together.

5. Gather proof.
Find the content, engagement, audience response, and data that support your idea.

6. Find the person.
Look for the person or department responsible for partnerships, creators, affiliates, collaborations, or marketing.

7. Start the conversation.
Introduce yourself and the opportunity without trying to close the entire deal in one email.

Then?

Track it, follow up, and eventually...Ask.

You Can’t Get What You Don’t Ask For

During the Live, Robyn told me about some of the unconventional sponsorships she’s landed over the years.

Coca-Cola.
Bauer.
Rollerblade.
Subway.
Even a Jaguar dealership for an event.

→ She saw connections between companies and the audiences she already had.

→ Then she asked whether those companies wanted to participate. (that’s it)

At one point I said: “You really don’t know what you don’t ask for.”

Robyn corrected me: “You really can’t get what you don’t ask for.”

And THAT may be the lesson I carry with me from these sponsorship conversations.

Episode 016 helped me realize that NP Fellow may be more sponsorable than I thought.
Episode 017 taught me that getting a sponsor doesn’t begin with firing off a giant proposal to Nike.

It starts much smaller.

Know your audience and know your value.
Find the connection.
Create the opportunity.
Gather the proof.
Find the person.
Start the conversation.

Then ask.

Final Thoughts

I started this process thinking sponsorship meant finding a company, deciding what to charge, and sending a pitch.

Now I see the pitch is almost the last step.

First, you have to know why the partnership makes sense.

What you bring.
What you could create together.
Why your audience would care.
Who you’re actually talking to.

I still haven’t pitched Nike, but I’m a hell of a lot closer than I was last week. 🥳😱

Next, comes the part I’ve been preparing for: The ask.

Want to Go Deeper on Sponsorships?

There’s also something worth celebrating.

Robyn’s Finding Your Edge just reached its first 100 subscribers!!

To celebrate, she’s offering a limited-time, one-time upgrade opportunity for her publication.

She’s also introducing her Sponsorship Playbook & Workbook, Your Sponsor Kit Edge™, which draws on decades of her real-world sponsorship experience. 🐐

If these sponsorship conversations have you thinking, “I want to try this with my own publication”, Robyn’s new resource gives you a place to keep going.

→ Click below to learn more and celebrate 100 subscribers with Robyn at Finding Your Edge.

Find Your Edge with Robyn

Watch Episode 017

Want to see us work through this in real time?

In Episode 017 of Unstuck to Finding Your Edge, and I go through my actual dream sponsor list and work through fit, offers, proof, contacts, and what my first outreach should look like.

And yes...my campaign to manifest Nike as an NP Fellow sponsor continues. 😂

↑ Watch Episode 017 of Unstuck to Finding Your Edge above.

Resources From This Conversation

Follow Jess at NP Fellow Become The CEO of Your Health →

Follow Jess at Nurse in the Market →

Follow Jess at Unstuck to Published →

Follow Robyn at Finding Your Edge →

Follow Robyn at Rare Finds - Luxury Travel →

Scan Robyn’s QR code to access her Youtube channel →

Thank You

Thank you so much for everyone who tuned into this live, your presence is truly appreciated, and to the people who are watching the replay, thank you!

See you next Friday at 12pm ET for our weekly show, stay tuned!

-Jess, The Creator & Robyn Levin

Weekly Skill: Journaling for Self-Discovery

Jess, The Creator — Wed, 12 Aug 2026 10:03:01 GMT

One grounded internal skill you can practice this week.

Why This Skill Matters

Most of us move from one experience to the next without stopping long enough to understand what happened.

We finish the meeting.
Complete the project.
Have the conversation.
Solve the problem.
Get through the difficult day.
Then we move on.

Life keeps moving just like us so over time, it’s possible to collect a lot of experiences without collecting much understanding.

You may know that a conversation bothered you without knowing why.
You may leave another exhausting day at work without noticing that the same thing drains you every time.
You may keep returning to an idea without asking why you can’t seem to let it go.

That’s where reflection matters.

This week’s skill isn’t about documenting your life.

→ It’s about slowing down long enough to see the patterns that are easy to miss while you’re busy living them because self-discovery rarely arrives as one enormous realization.

More often, it happens one honest observation at a time.

What This Skill Is

Journaling for self-discovery isn’t about recording everything that happened during your day.

→ It’s about creating enough distance to look at your own experience.

Writing slows a thought down long enough for you to see it.

A feeling that seemed confusing in your head may become clearer on the page.
An experience that felt isolated may start looking familiar.
Something you dismissed as “just a bad day” may turn out to be something you’ve written about four times this month.

Your journal doesn’t need to tell you what any of it means.

At first, your job is simply to notice.

The Common Mistake

Many people stop journaling because they think they’re doing it wrong.

They don’t know what to write.
They worry that nothing interesting happened.
They think their entries should sound meaningful.
Or they sit down with a blank page and expect themselves to produce some profound insight about their life before bed.
Nope.

You’re not writing a memoir and your journal isn’t asking you to be wise.

→ The goal is to become a more accurate observer of your own life.

You don’t need a revelation every time you open the page.

You need somewhere to leave the evidence.

Why This Works

It’s difficult to see a pattern while you’re inside one moment of it.

Writing gives you something you don’t have while the experience is happening:

→ Distance.

You can return to what you wrote yesterday and compare it with what you wrote last week.

You can also notice the same frustration appearing again.

The same kind of environment draining you.
The same idea pulling at your attention.
The same moments making you feel more like yourself.

One entry may not tell you much, but several entries placed next to each other?

→ Now you have something to look at.

Journaling gives you enough distance to see what keeps repeating.

Five Questions That Help You See The Pattern

Instead of asking:

“What happened today?”

→ Ask something more useful.

1. What gave me energy today?

Not what made you productive and not what you accomplished.

What made you feel more awake, interested, curious, or like yourself?

Maybe it was a conversation.
A problem you enjoyed solving.
Time outside.
Making something.
Helping someone.

Pay attention to where your energy naturally shows up.

2. What drained me?

Think beyond being tired.

What left you irritated, depleted, tense, resentful, or wanting to withdraw?

Then ask:

Have I felt this before?

One difficult afternoon is an afternoon.

The same kind of exhaustion appearing repeatedly is worth noticing.

3. What kept returning to my attention?

An idea.
A frustration.
A question.
A conversation.

Something you want, something you miss, or something you keep imagining doing differently.

Don’t assume that because a thought keeps returning, it must be true or important.

Just get curious about why it keeps coming back.

4. Where did I feel most, and least, like myself?

Think about the people you were around.

The places you went.
The work you did.
The conversations you had.

→ Where did you feel relaxed enough to be yourself?

→ Where did you notice yourself performing, shrinking, withholding, or becoming someone you didn’t particularly recognize?

You don’t need to judge either experience.

Notice the difference.

5. What am I noticing more than once?

This is where journaling becomes more than writing about your day.

Have you written about this before?
Is the same frustration showing up in different situations?
Does the same kind of experience keep energizing you?
Is there an idea you keep dismissing that somehow keeps making its way back onto the page?

Repetition doesn’t automatically tell you what something means, but it gives you a reason to pay attention.

This Week’s Practice

Set aside ten minutes at the end of each day.

→ Choose one of the five questions.

→ Write without editing, without trying to sound wise, and without worrying whether you’re getting it right.

You don’t need pages. A paragraph is enough.

Some days, a few sentences will do.

Your journal isn’t grading you.

It’s reflecting you.

Then, at the end of the week, do something important:

→ Go back and read what you wrote.

Don’t dissect every sentence.

→ Look for repetition.

A person who appears more than once.
An environment that consistently drains you.
Something that repeatedly gives you energy.
A feeling that keeps surfacing.
An idea you can’t seem to leave alone.
A version of yourself that appears under certain conditions.

Circle what repeats.

Then ask:

What might this pattern be showing me?

→ You don’t have to know the answer yet.

Seeing the pattern is enough.

Signs It’s Working

Over time, you may notice that you:

Recognize patterns sooner.
Understand your emotional responses more clearly.
Notice what consistently gives or takes your energy.
Make decisions with more information about yourself.
Become less likely to dismiss recurring signals.
Trust your own observations more.

Not because journaling magically gave you the answers, but because you’ve started paying attention to the evidence.

The One-Line Reorientation

→ “Journaling gives you enough distance to see what keeps repeating.”

When To Use This Skill

Return to this practice when:

You feel disconnected from what you want.
The same problem seems to keep appearing.
You’re facing a decision and can’t tell what matters.
Something keeps returning to your attention.
You’re moving through a period of change.
You know something feels “off,” but you can’t quite name it.

You don’t have to journal every day forever.

Use it when you need somewhere to step outside the experience and look.

Why This Compounds Over Time

One journal entry captures a moment.

A month of entries can reveal a pattern.

A year can show you things about yourself you couldn’t possibly have seen on an ordinary Tuesday while you were busy getting through it.

→ That’s the value of returning to the page.

You’re creating a record of what mattered before you knew it mattered.

What kept returning.
What changed.
What didn’t.
What brought you alive.
What repeatedly asked something from you.

And over time, the evidence becomes harder to ignore.

Closing Reflection

We often think self-discovery requires finding something we don’t know yet.

Sometimes it does, but sometimes the clues are already scattered throughout our lives.

A journal won’t tell you who you are, however, it can give you enough distance to notice what your life keeps showing you.

And usually, once you see the pattern, you can’t unsee it.

Thank you for reading this article.

— Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“It’s only heavy because you’re deciding over and over again to carry it. Embrace change, loosen up your sense of identity, and let yourself walk a new path.” —Yung Pueblo

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You Can't Read The Label From Inside The Jar

Jess, The Creator — Sun, 09 Aug 2026 09:55:27 GMT

“If you really want to rebel in a narrow-minded and egocentric society, be more loving.”

💛 A Note from Me

Hi, I’m Jessica.

I write NP Fellow Become The CEO of Your Health— a weekly mental health and functional medicine newsletter about building a healthier relationship with your mind, your body, and yourself.

We often think we’ll discover ourselves by living more.

Traveling more.
Working harder.
Trying new things.
Meeting new people.

Sometimes we do, but you can have a life full of experiences and still not understand what any of them are trying to tell you because living something and understanding it are two different things.

There’s an old expression:

→ You can’t read the label from inside the jar.

You’re simply too close.

The same can be true of our own lives.

When you’re inside the job, you’re trying to get through the week.
When you’re inside the relationship, you’re responding to what happened yesterday.
When you’re building something, you’re focused on what still isn’t working.
When life keeps moving, you move with it, adapt, respond, and keep going.

And sometimes you don’t realize what an experience has been showing you until you finally step far enough away to see it.

That’s what reflection gives us. Distance.

Subscribe now

🚨🔊My New Annual Summer Vibes playlist - 2026 edit is now out on Spotify along with my podcast called NP Fellow Collective!

Some Things Only Look Like Patterns In Reverse

One difficult job might simply be a difficult job; however, what if you’ve left three jobs for essentially the same reason?

One friendship might leave you exhausted, but what if you keep becoming the person who listens, fixes, accommodates, and asks for almost nothing in return?

Maybe you’ve spent years calling yourself inconsistent because you keep abandoning projects, but when you look closer, every project you abandoned required you to work in a way you hated.

Maybe there’s an idea you’ve returned to for years and you’ve dismissed it, gotten practical, and moved on and somehow...there it is again.

At some point, repetition stops being random.

→ It becomes information, but we often can’t see that while we’re busy living through each moment individually.

Reflection lets us put the moments next to each other and suddenly, the pattern becomes harder to miss.

Self-Discovery Is Usually Quieter Than We Expect

We tend to imagine self-discovery as a breakthrough.

One conversation.
One life-changing trip.
One enormous realization where everything finally makes sense.

Sometimes life gives us those moments.

More often, it gives us clues.

The work that leaves you strangely energized.
The conversation you replay for days.
The environment where you notice yourself shrinking.
The people around whom you don’t have to perform.
The subject you keep reading about when nobody is asking you to.
The version of your life that looks perfectly reasonable on paper but keeps leaving you restless.

None of these moments has to mean much on its own.

But put enough of them together?

They start saying something.

Experience Gives You The Data. Reflection Finds The Pattern.

This is why experience alone isn’t always enough.

→ You can keep having experiences without ever stopping to ask what they have in common.

Reflection interrupts that.

It asks:

Why does this keep happening?
Why do I feel more like myself here?
Why does this keep draining me?
Why do I keep returning to this?
What have I been calling a coincidence that might actually be a pattern?

You don’t have to immediately know what the pattern means.

→ You just have to become willing to see it.

Because once you do, it’s harder to keep pretending you don’t.

You May Already Have More Evidence Than You Think

This is the part of self-discovery we don’t talk about enough.

We keep looking forward for answers that may already exist behind us.

What have your choices been showing you?
What have your disappointments taught you?
What environments have brought out a version of you that you like?
Where have you repeatedly abandoned yourself?
What keeps returning, even after you’ve tried to move on from it?

→ Your life has been collecting evidence.

→ Reflection is how you begin reading it.

And sometimes what you discover isn’t some hidden version of yourself and it’s something much less dramatic.

→ You already knew.

You just hadn’t seen the pattern clearly enough to trust it.

A Different Way To Look At Self-Discovery

Maybe self-discovery isn’t about searching harder and maybe it’s about stepping back.

Looking at the last few years instead of the next five.

Noticing what repeats.
What energizes you.
What costs you more than you admit.
What you’ve outgrown.
What keeps calling you back.

You don’t need to turn every experience into a lesson.

Some things are simply things that happened, but when the same truth keeps showing up in different clothes?

→ Pay attention.

Your life may be trying to tell you something.

Final Thoughts

We often think we’ll discover ourselves by finding the right answers.

→ Sometimes we discover ourselves by asking better questions.

What keeps repeating?
Where do I feel most like myself?
What have I been tolerating so long that I stopped noticing it?
What keeps returning, even when I try to dismiss it?

Maybe self-discovery isn’t about finding another version of yourself.

→ Maybe it’s noticing the patterns your life has been repeating long enough to finally believe them because you can’t read the label from inside the jar.

Sometimes you have to step back before you can see what’s been written there all along.

Thank you for reading this article.

Until next Sunday,
—Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“People who are willing to grow emit an attractive vibe. Even if you’re just starting on your journey, being comfortable with moving beyond old limits gives off a special energy that calls in other emotionally mature people.” —Yung Pueblo

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Episode - 016 You Don’t Need a Huge Newsletter to Be Worth Sponsoring

Jess, The Creator — Sat, 08 Aug 2026 03:51:46 GMT

Editor’s Note: This article is based on Episode 016 of Unstuck to Finding Your Edge, my weekly Substack Live series with Robyn Levin of Finding Your Edge. This week, we did something different: Robyn turned the Live into a real-time strategy session to figure out how I could start attracting sponsors for my health publication, NP Fellow: Become the CEO of Your Health.

I hadn’t really thought about sponsors.

Subscribers? Yes.

Paid subscriptions? Yes.

Growing NP Fellow, writing better articles, building offers, getting the work in front of more people? Obviously.

But companies paying to sponsor the publication? Not really.

When Robyn and I first talked about doing a live sponsorship strategy session, my reaction was basically:

Sponsors?

Because in my head, sponsorship belonged somewhere further down the road.

Get bigger first.

Then maybe think about sponsors.

Except Robyn looked at NP Fellow and saw something I wasn’t looking at.

I already had an established publication, I already had readers, and those readers were interested in a pretty specific group of things.

So she started asking me questions.

Who Actually Reads NP Fellow?

Before we talked about companies, pricing, media kits, pitches, or anything else, Robyn asked me to describe my readers.

→ NP Fellow covers mental health, functional medicine, emotional regulation, physical health, and what I call becoming the CEO of your health: paying attention, advocating for yourself, and taking a more active role in the decisions that affect you.

My readers tend to be adults interested in their health who want to understand themselves better and make better decisions about how they live.

Some are interested in mental health.
Some have experienced trauma.
Some come for the physical-health side.
Some are working on emotional regulation.

And somewhere in that conversation, the sponsorship thing finally clicked for me.

I said:

→ “You’re looking for the same audience or, like, audience overlap.”

Exactly.

That changed the question.

Instead of sitting there trying to think of companies that sponsor newsletters, I could look at my readers and ask:

→ Which companies are already trying to reach these people?

Robyn had done exactly that years ago when she owned an ice-skating arena.

She had skaters coming through the doors, so she looked at the businesses that wanted those customers.

Subway.
Coca-Cola.
Skating-equipment companies like Bauer and CCM.

She was already buying from some of those companies and now she had an audience full of their customers.

That was the opportunity. Different business. Same logic.

Your Subscriber Count Isn’t The Only Number That Matters

This was another assumption I had.

Surely you need a massive newsletter before a company is going to care.

Robyn disagreed.

She brought up newsletters with 500 or 1,000 subscribers and made the point that the relationship with those readers matters too.

Think about what happens when someone subscribes to a publication and keeps coming back.

They open your emails.
They read.
They reply.
They comment.
They listen to your podcast.
They show up for your Lives.
They know who you are before a sponsor ever enters the picture.

A company trying to reach that same person is starting much further away.

So yes, a sponsor is going to want to know your audience size.

However, subscriber count doesn’t tell them everything about what they’re buying.

That made me look at NP Fellow differently.

Maybe I didn’t need to hit some imaginary number before sponsorship became worth exploring.

Maybe I needed to understand the audience I already had.

Then We Started Naming Companies

Once I understood the audience-overlap idea, this got MUCH easier.

Robyn started throwing out possibilities.

Health and wellness companies.
Medical organizations.
Fitness companies.
Yoga brands.
Health apps.
Wearable technology.

Then she asked me what I actually use and I immediately thought of Thorne.

I’ve taken their supplements and I know the products.

And I told Robyn something that matters to me if I ever do this:

I would never want to recommend something I hadn’t actually tried myself.

That’s a hard line.

If a company appears in NP Fellow with my recommendation attached to it, I need to be able to stand behind what I’m saying.

I’m not interested in turning the publication into a rented billboard.

Then we thought of Oura.

That one was almost embarrassingly obvious.

I literally own an Oura Ring.

My current one is gold and it’s my second one.

Why hadn’t I thought about them?

And then came Nike.

Of course.

I wear Nike workout clothes and I’ve worn their shoes.

When I played hockey, I wore Bauer skates back when Nike owned Bauer. I even had Nike skates at one point.

Apparently Nike has been following me around for half my life and nobody thought to send the sponsorship contract.

Robyn decided we should collectively visualize the Nike sponsorship.

So that’s happening now.

#JessForNike.

But underneath the joke was something useful.

Within one conversation, I went from:

I don’t really know what companies I’d approach.

To:

→ Thorne. Oura. Nike.

Three potential sponsors and we hadn’t even made the list yet!

The Homework: Find Ten

Robyn originally told me to make a dream list of 20 companies.

Then she changed her mind to ten

Much less likely to make me open a spreadsheet, stare at it for 45 minutes, and decide I suddenly need to reorganize my kitchen.

So that’s my homework.

Ten companies whose customers overlap with NP Fellow readers.

Not ten random companies with large marketing budgets.

Ten where I can explain the fit.

Who do they serve?
What do they sell?
Do I already use the product?
Have they sponsored newsletters, podcasts, creators, or publications before?
Who handles those partnerships?
Why would NP Fellow’s audience matter to them?

We did the same exercise with podcasts I could potentially appear on.

The goal isn’t to contact everybody with a marketing department.

It’s to find the companies where I can make a legitimate case for why we should be talking.

Then Robyn Started Talking About Money

This is where the strategy session got interesting.

→ Robyn told me about sponsorship opportunities she’d seen where a company might pay around $2,500 for a single article or feature.

My reaction?

“$2,500 an article?”

Yeah.

Four digits for one article got my attention.

Then we started talking about what a pitch to a company like Thorne could actually look like.

→ Maybe they sponsor my Weekly Skill.

→ Maybe I write a standalone article about supplements I genuinely use and why.

Robyn floated $5,000 as a possible starting ask for that kind of sponsored feature.

If the company negotiates it down?

Fine.

You can come down from $5,000.

It’s considerably harder to casually announce halfway through negotiations that you’ve decided you’d actually like them to double the check.

And Robyn made another point I needed to hear:

→ Don’t base a company’s budget on your own wallet.

What feels like a huge amount of money to an individual may sit comfortably inside a company’s marketing budget.

That doesn’t mean pulling numbers out of thin air and hoping somebody wires you $50,000 before lunch.

→ You still need to know what you’re selling.

However, I shouldn’t automatically make the number smaller because asking for it makes me uncomfortable.

Then I Realized I Had Another Problem

The money sounded good.

Obviously, but when we started talking about longer sponsorships, my brain immediately went somewhere else.

What happens if someone sponsors Weekly Skill for a year...…and six months from now I don’t want to write Weekly Skill anymore?
Am I stuck?
Do I have to keep producing a series because somebody paid to have their name attached to it?

That bothered me.

Robyn explained that sponsorships don’t have to work that way.

They could be monthly, quarterly, annual, or one-time.

And THAT’S when I knew which option appealed to me most.

→ One sponsored article.

I write something I would genuinely stand behind.

The company sponsors that piece.

There’s a beginning and there’s an end.

Nobody owns my editorial calendar for the next 12 months.

Could that change eventually?

Sure, but right now, I like being able to do one partnership, see how it feels, see how readers respond, and decide whether I want to do another because making money from NP Fellow would be incredible.

Making money from NP Fellow and then feeling trapped inside the thing I built? Hard pass.

Then The Numbers Got Bigger

At one point, we started talking about annual sponsorships.

Monthly payments.
Upfront payments.
Discounting an annual agreement if a company pays the whole thing at once.

And I started doing the math.

If you had multiple publications and sponsors paying a few thousand dollars a month, suddenly we weren’t talking about a cute little side payment anymore.

I said:

“That would be, like, life-changing money.”

Because it would and that’s probably the moment when this stopped feeling theoretical to me.

I came into the conversation barely thinking about sponsors.

Now I was sitting there realizing an audience I’d already spent years building could potentially become another serious revenue stream.

Nothing about NP Fellow had changed during the conversation.

Same publication, same articles, and same readers.

I was finally looking at it differently.

Of Course, Eventually I Have To Ask

Near the end of the Live, Robyn brought up something we’d talked about the week before.

→ How I got my first nursing job.

It was almost ten years ago.

I’d gotten my nursing license and started applying online.

And nursing job listings had this ridiculous problem: I’d just graduated, but so many positions wanted two years of experience.

Cool.

Where exactly is the new graduate supposed to acquire those two years? The nursing-experience fairy?

After about three months, I got tired of sending applications into the void.

So I started physically showing up at hospitals.

One day, I heard a pediatric oncology floor was hiring.

I applied online that night.

The next day, I went to the hospital.

I walked into HR and I told them I’d applied online and I was highly interested in working there.

That eventually got me in front of the nurse manager and I got the job.

Robyn called that bold and I had to correct the record.

I was nauseous, like genuinely nauseous while I was doing this.

I wasn’t strolling into hospitals overflowing with confidence.

I was scared and I went anyway.

Which is annoyingly relevant to this sponsorship thing because I can make my list, research every company, figure out pricing, build a media kit, write seventeen versions of a pitch email, and move commas around until I’ve convinced myself this counts as productive work.

Eventually, I still have to send the damn thing.

Nike can say no, Thorne can ignore me, and Oura can decide NP Fellow isn’t the right fit.

Fine, but none of them can say yes to an email I never send.

So That’s My Next Move

I have homework now.

→ Ten companies and ten podcasts.

A clearer idea of the sponsorship formats I’m willing to test.

Some actual numbers to think about.

And then I have to start asking.

Which brings me back to something I said at the end of the Live:

→ If someone else is doing it, that’s proof you can do it to.

Somebody got the sponsor.

Somebody sent the pitch.

Somebody asked for the amount that made them slightly nauseous.

Why automatically assume they get to be the person who does it and you don’t?

So if you’ve been telling yourself your newsletter needs to get bigger before you’re allowed to think about sponsorships, try a different exercise.

→ Look at the people already reading.

→ Look at what they care about.

→ Look at the products already sitting in your house, on your phone, in your gym bag, or on your wrist.

Then ask:

Which companies are already trying to reach the people I’ve already reached?

→ Write down ten.

Then eventually?

→ Send the damn email.

↑ Watch Episode 016 of Unstuck to Finding Your Edge above.

Resources From This Conversation

Follow Jess at NP Fellow Become The CEO of Your Health →

Follow Jess at Nurse in the Market →

Follow Jess at Unstuck to Published →

Follow Robyn at Finding Your Edge →

Follow Robyn at Rare Finds - Luxury Travel →

Scan Robyn’s QR code to access her Youtube channel →

Thank You

Thank you so much for everyone who tuned into this live, your presence is truly appreciated, and to the people who are watching the replay, thank you!

See you next Friday at 12pm ET for our weekly show, stay tuned!

-Jess, The Creator & Robyn Levin

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Weekly Skill: Loving-Kindness

Jess, The Creator — Wed, 05 Aug 2026 10:03:02 GMT

One grounded internal skill you can practice this week.

Why This Skill Matters

Last Sunday, we explored the quiet power of goodwill.

→ The simple act of wishing ourselves and others well.

This week, we’re putting that idea into practice because goodwill isn’t only something we hope to feel.

It’s something we can intentionally strengthen.

Like any habit, the emotional patterns we repeat become easier to return to.

→ Loving-kindness is one of the simplest ways to begin practicing that habit.

You don’t need the perfect mood and you don’t need to feel deeply compassionate.

You simply begin with the intention.

What This Skill Is

Loving-kindness is a simple practice of silently offering kind wishes to yourself and other people.

That’s it.

You’re not trying to force an emotion, you’re not pretending everyone deserves your affection, and you’re certainly not trying to convince yourself that everything is okay.

You’re practicing goodwill.

→ One quiet well wish at a time.

Over time, those repeated moments begin shaping the emotional habits your mind returns to most easily.

The Common Mistake

Many people assume loving-kindness means becoming endlessly positive or instantly forgiving people who have hurt them.

It doesn’t.

Goodwill doesn’t require approval, it doesn’t excuse harmful behavior, and it doesn’t ask you to ignore healthy boundaries.

It simply asks one question →

“Can I wish for well-being instead of rehearsing hostility?”

Some days the answer will be yes and some days it won’t.

That’s okay.

The practice isn’t about perfection. It’s about repetition.

Why This Works

Our minds are constantly practicing something.

Sometimes we practice worry, criticism, and resentment.

Without realizing it, those patterns become familiar places for our attention to return.

→ Loving-kindness gently interrupts that habit.

Each time you intentionally wish yourself or someone else well, you’re practicing a different emotional pathway.

You’re reminding yourself that goodwill is always available.

Not because life is perfect, but because it’s something you can choose to strengthen.

Like any skill, loving-kindness becomes more familiar with practice.

How to Practice Loving-Kindness

You don’t need a meditation cushion and you don’t need complete silence.

You only need a few quiet moments.

Step 1

→ Take one slow breath and allow your shoulders to soften.

There’s nothing to force.

Step 2

→ Bring yourself to mind.

Silently repeat:

“May I be safe.”
“May I be healthy.”
“May I experience peace.”
“May I live with ease.”

There’s no need to believe every word.

Simply notice what it’s like to offer yourself those well wishes.

Step 3

Now think of someone you care about.

→ Picture them as clearly as you can.

Offer the same wishes.

“May you be safe.”
“May you be healthy.”
“May you experience peace.”
“May you live with ease.”

Step 4

Next, think of someone neutral.

The cashier at your local grocery store.
Your neighbor.
The delivery driver who drops off your mail or packages.
Someone whose life briefly intersects with yours.

Offer them the same well wishes.

Step 5

If it feels appropriate, bring to mind someone you find difficult.

Not someone who has caused significant harm.

→ Simply someone you struggle with. Offer the same well wishes.

If that doesn’t feel possible today, skip this step.

There is no prize for forcing yourself.

Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is recognize where we’re not ready.

Your Weekly Practice

Over the next seven days, choose one ordinary moment each day.

While waiting at a red light.
Standing in line.
Walking the dog.
Making your morning coffee.
Sitting on the couch.

Quietly offer these well wishes to one person.

It might be yourself.
Someone you love.
A stranger.
Someone you find difficult.
Maybe someone you don’t talk to anymore.

→ The person matters less than the practice.

Notice what changes when goodwill becomes part of your everyday routine instead of something you only feel by chance.

How You Know It’s Working

You may notice:

You’re a little less reactive.
You recover more quickly after frustrating moments.
Your inner voice becomes gentler.
It’s easier to assume good intentions.
Moments of connection feel easier to notice.

The changes are often subtle and that’s okay.

Most emotional habits grow quietly before we recognize how much they’ve changed us.

The One-Line Reorientation

→ “The emotions we practice become easier to return to.”

Closing Reflection

Loving-kindness isn’t about becoming a different person.

→ It’s about practicing the person you’d like to be a little more often.

One quiet wish.
One ordinary moment.
One small act of goodwill at a time.

Flourishing isn’t built through one extraordinary gesture.

It’s shaped by the small emotional habits we choose to practice every day.

Thank you for reading this article.

— Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“When you can’t deal with your pain, you suppress it or project it. The hurt you carry darkens what you see.” —Yung Pueblo

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The Quiet Power of Goodwill

Jess, The Creator — Sun, 02 Aug 2026 10:03:31 GMT

“Healthy relationships will become more common because people are letting go of their hurt instead of projecting it onto everything they see.”

💛 A Note from Me

Hi, I’m Jessica.

I write NP Fellow Become The CEO of Your Health— a weekly mental health and functional medicine newsletter about building a healthier relationship with your mind, your body, and yourself.

Most conversations about mental health begin with a problem.

Anxiety.
Grief.
Burnout.
Painful experiences we’re still trying to make sense of.

Those conversations matter; however, well-being isn’t built only by reducing what hurts.

Wellbeing also grows when we intentionally strengthen what helps us feel connected, open, and emotionally steady.

This week, we’re exploring goodwill.

Not as a response to suffering and not as forced positivity, but as the simple practice of wishing ourselves and others well.

On Wednesday, we’ll turn that idea into a practical skill through loving-kindness.

For now, we begin with a quieter question:

“What changes when we stop waiting for warmth to appear and start creating more of it on purpose?”

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The Quiet Power of Goodwill

It’s easy to think mental health is mostly about fixing what’s wrong.

We work on anxiety.
We process grief.
We learn healthier ways to cope.

Those things matter, but they’re only part of the picture.

Mental health isn’t only about moving away from suffering.

→ It’s also about moving toward well-being.

One way we do that is by intentionally cultivating goodwill.

Goodwill is the quiet wish that we, the people around us, and other people in the universe, may be well.

It doesn’t require affection, it doesn’t mean approving of everything someone does, and it doesn’t ask us to ignore pain, conflict, or harm.

It’s simply an attitude of wishing well and when goodwill is present, it often feels like warmth.

We often assume warmth should happen naturally.

We’ll be more patient once life settles down.
Kinder after we’ve had a break.
More appreciative when we’re less busy.

However, life rarely clears the schedule and announces,

“Now would be a convenient moment to become more generous.”

Goodwill can begin long before the day improves.

It can show up in the way you speak to yourself after making a mistake.
You spill your coffee.
Miss a deadline.
Forget someone’s birthday.

The first voice you hear is your own.

→ Goodwill changes that conversation.

Goodwill can also appear in the quiet decision to assume someone else may be carrying more than you can see.

These moments may seem small; however, repeated emotional habits shape the way we experience our lives.

Positive emotional states do something important.

→ They widen our perspective.

→ Stress narrows it.

When we feel overwhelmed, our attention naturally shrinks toward the immediate problem.

“What went wrong?”
“What needs fixing?”
“What might happen next?”

That response makes sense when danger is real, but it becomes exhausting when our minds never leave that mode.

Goodwill offers a different starting point.

It doesn’t remove the problem and it gives us a little more room around it.

→ From there, we may become more patient, more curious, less reactive, and more able to notice possibilities that fear had pushed out of view.

Goodwill doesn’t make life easier. It changes the emotional posture from which we meet it.

The same is true in our relationships.

Think about someone you almost always feel better after spending time with.

You probably couldn’t repeat what they said last Tuesday, but you remember how it felt to be around them.
You felt welcomed and accepted.
Able to let your guard down.

That feeling usually isn’t created through one grand gesture.

It’s built through small, repeated moments.

A kind tone.
A patient response.
A sincere question.
A face that softens when you walk into the room.

→ This is how emotional climates are created; quietly.

One interaction at a time and each of us contributes to them.

One practice designed to strengthen goodwill is loving-kindness.

Compassion often arises when suffering is already present.

We see pain and something in us wants to respond.

Loving-kindness begins somewhere different.

It doesn’t need a crisis and it begins with a simple wish for well-being.

“May I be safe.”
“May I be healthy.”
“May I experience peace.”
“May you be well.”

The practice is simple, but that doesn’t mean shallow.

Over time, loving-kindness has been associated with greater positive emotion, stronger feelings of connection, and improved emotional well-being.

Not because difficult emotions disappear, but because they are no longer the only emotional state we practice and that matters.

Whatever we practice becomes easier to return to. Including goodwill.
Link to loving-kindness video above

Perhaps that’s the invitation this week.

Not to wait until life feels lighter before allowing yourself to experience warmth, but to recognize that we can help create it.

We can offer appreciation before something is lost.
We can speak kindly to ourselves before self-criticism takes over.
We can extend goodwill before conflict asks us to choose how we want to respond.
We can become more intentional about the emotional atmosphere we bring into our homes, our workplaces, and our relationships.

Well-being is shaped by more than the pain we heal.

It’s also shaped by what we choose to practice each day.

Final Thoughts

We often measure mental health by the absence of struggle.

Less anxiety.
Less sadness.
Less fear.

But well-being can also be measured by what is present.

The quiet appreciation of an ordinary moment.
The sincere hope that someone else is doing well.
The gentler voice we use after making a mistake.
The way another person relaxes because they feel accepted in our presence.

These moments may not look dramatic.

They still shape the emotional climate of our lives.

→ Healing helps us recover from what has hurt.

→ Goodwill helps us grow what we want more of.

We need both.

Thank you for reading this article.

Until next Sunday,
—Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“When you left, it was a shock, because you told me we were going to build our lives together. Now I’m left with half a plan, a heart that feels torn, and the remnants of memories I no longer want.” —Yung Pueblo

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Episode - 015 Your Edge Usually Appears After Life Changes The Plan

Jess, The Creator — Fri, 31 Jul 2026 20:45:37 GMT

Editor’s Note: This article accompanies Episode 015 of Unstuck to Finding Your Edge, my weekly Substack Live with Robyn Levin of Finding Your Edge. We started by talking about career changes, business pivots, and reinvention. Then, the conversation became something much bigger: what happens when life quietly tears up the plan you thought you were following.

Nobody grows up hoping to have five careers, or six or seven.

Most of us imagine life unfolding in a straight line.

Pick a path.
Work hard.
Stay on it.

Then life decides to edit the script.

A company downsizes.
A business struggles.
An industry changes.
A relationship ends.
An opportunity shows up disguised as something you never would have chosen.

Suddenly, the future you’ve been working toward doesn’t exist in the way you imagined.

For a long time, I thought those moments meant something had gone wrong.

I’m not so sure anymore.

→ After listening to Robyn tell her story, and looking back at my own, I keep coming back to the same thought.

Sometimes life isn’t ending the story. It’s changing the chapter.

Staying The Same Isn’t Resilience

I used to think resilience meant holding on, pushing through, and keeping everything together no matter what.

Now I think it’s almost the opposite.

Sometimes resilience looks like letting go of the version of your life that no longer fits.

Neither Robyn nor I followed a straight path.

→ Robyn moved from competitive figure skating to owning an ice rink, trading stocks, working in mortgages, building a marketing career, consulting, publishing, and now helping people find their edge.

→ I started in pediatric oncology nursing, became a nurse practitioner, flew as a flight nurse, learned the stock market, became a writer, published books, and eventually found myself helping creators build their own platforms.

From the outside, those careers look completely unrelated.

Looking back, they feel inevitable.

→ Every chapter quietly taught us something the next one would need.

The funny thing is...you rarely recognize that while you’re living it.

Action Interrupts Helplessness

One thing I kept noticing during our conversation was that neither of us waited until we felt ready.

Robyn didn’t know exactly how moving to San Francisco would work out.

When the technology market shifted and her original plan disappeared, she didn’t sit around waiting for certainty to magically appear.

→ She used the skills she already had, found another path, and kept moving. 🐐

My first nursing job happened the same way.

After months of sending applications into what felt like a black hole, I finally stopped waiting for an online application to change my life.

→ I drove to the hospital, walked into Human Resources, introduced myself, and asked for an opportunity and that conversation became an interview and the interview became a job.

Neither of us was fearless.

We were both uncertain.

The difference is we moved before confidence showed up.

→ I’ve noticed that’s usually how confidence works.

It doesn’t arrive first.

Confidence catches up after you’ve already started walking.

You’re Probably Not Starting Over

This is one of those ideas I’ve changed my mind about over the years.

We love saying we’re “starting over.”

But are we?

Most of the time, I don’t think we are.

You’re not throwing your experience away. You’re recycling it.

Robyn used her marketing background to help save her ice rink.

Her understanding of finance later opened the door to a consulting relationship that lasted seven years.

→ Different jobs. Same strengths.

The same thing happened to me.

I don’t work in pediatric oncology anymore.

However, I still teach and care for people, I still simplify complicated ideas, and I still help people make decisions when they’re overwhelmed.

The setting changed. The strengths didn’t.

→ Maybe reinvention isn’t becoming someone new.

Maybe it’s finally discovering where the person you’ve been all along fits best.

Fear Doesn’t Get The Final Vote

One thing Robyn said during the Live has stayed with me.

“Face your fear, and you’ll scare it away.”

I don’t think she meant fear disappears.

Mine certainly hasn’t.

I think she meant fear loses its authority the moment you stop letting it make every decision.

Looking back, I can’t think of a meaningful change in my life that didn’t involve some fear.

Changing careers.
Publishing.
Starting something new.

None of it felt comfortable.

Waiting until you feel fearless is a strategy that keeps you waiting and watching from the sidelines.

Pay Attention To What Keeps Finding You

Listening to Robyn tell her story, I noticed something else.

Almost every major change started with something surprisingly ordinary.

A conversation.
A sign outside an ice rink.
A financial question.

None of those moments looked life-changing at the time.

→ They were simply openings.

I wonder how many of those moments we miss because we’re too busy mourning the plan that didn’t work out.

I’ve started paying closer attention to the things that keep showing up.

The question I can’t stop thinking about.
The person I keep meaning to call.
The idea that refuses to leave me alone.

Curiosity has a funny way of pointing toward the next chapter long before certainty ever arrives.

Be Useful First

Another idea kept resurfacing throughout our conversation.

The people who keep looking for ways to help rarely stay stuck for long.

Not because they’re expecting something in return, but because helping people has a funny way of opening doors you never planned to walk through.

That’s exactly how Robyn and I met.

She responded to a Note where I invited people to ask questions about Substack.

One conversation became a phone call and the phone call became a workshop.

Eventually, it became this Live series.

Neither of us could have planned that.

→ It started with one person asking for help and another person saying yes.

Sometimes it’s really that simple.

Maybe It’s Evolution, Not Reinvention

By the end of our conversation, I realized something.

I’m not sure reinvention is even the right word anymore.

→ Reinvention sounds like replacing yourself.

→ Evolution feels more honest.

The athlete becomes an entrepreneur.

The nurse becomes a teacher.

The creator becomes a publisher.

→ Nothing gets thrown away. It all comes with you.

Looking back, almost every chapter I thought was an ending turned out to be preparation.

I just couldn’t see it at the time.

Life probably won’t follow the plan you made for it.

Mine certainly didn’t and maybe yours won’t either.

That doesn’t automatically mean you’ve taken a wrong turn.

Sometimes the detour is where you discover what you’re actually capable of and sometimes your edge only appears after the original map becomes useless.

Looking back, that’s been true for both Robyn and me.

Maybe that’s why I trust detours a little more than I used to.

In This Episode

Robyn and I discuss:

What competitive sports taught us about resilience and risk.
Buying and rebuilding a struggling ice rink.
Career pivots and transferable skills.
My journey from nursing to writing, trading, and publishing.
Why physically showing up landed my first nursing job.
Fear, action, and informed risk-taking.
How we met through Substack and created this Live series.
Why evolution may be a better word than reinvention.

↑ Replay Above

Resources From This Conversation

Follow Jess at NP Fellow Become The CEO of Your Health

Follow Jess at Nurse in the Market →

Follow Jess at Unstuck to Published →

Follow Robyn at Finding Your Edge →

Follow Robyn at Rare Finds - Luxury Travel →

Scan Robyn’s QR code to access her Youtube channel →

Thank You

Thank you so much for everyone who tuned into this live, your presence is truly appreciated, and to the people who are watching the replay, thank you!

See you next Friday at 12pm ET for our weekly show, stay tuned!

-Jess, The Creator & Robyn Levin

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Weekly Skill: Listening To Yourself

Jess, The Creator — Wed, 29 Jul 2026 10:01:57 GMT

One grounded internal skill you can practice this week.

Why This Skill Matters

How often do you move from one thing to the next without a pause?

An email and a meeting.
Dinner and laundry.
One more notification and one more scroll.
One more episode before bed.

Our days become so full that silence starts to feel unfamiliar.

Not because we dislike it, but because we’re no longer used to hearing ourselves.

This week’s skill isn’t about spending more time alone.

It’s about creating enough silence to notice what has been patiently waiting for your attention.

What This Skill Is

Listening to yourself isn’t about solving your problems.

It’s about becoming curious enough to notice them.

It means creating a few quiet moments without immediately reaching for distraction.

No phone, no podcast, no music, and no need to fill the silence.

Just enough space to notice your thoughts, your emotions, and the quiet signals your body has been offering all along.

You don’t need to change anything.

You simply need to notice.

The Common Mistake

Many of us mistake constant stimulation for rest.

The moment life becomes quiet, we reach for something else.

Music, a podcast, social media, and television.

Not because these things are bad, but because silence often introduces us to thoughts we’d rather avoid.

However, the goal isn’t to eliminate those thoughts. It’s to become willing to hear them.

Why This Works

Quiet or silence gives your mind room to catch up with your life.

Thoughts become clearer.
Emotions become easier to recognize.
Patterns become easier to notice.
Your body also has room to speak.
You may notice tension you’ve been carrying.
Fatigue you’ve been ignoring.
A sense of calm you haven’t felt in weeks.

Silence doesn’t create what’s happening inside you.

Silence or quiet simply gives you the opportunity to hear it.

How To Practice It

Choose ten uninterrupted minutes this week.

→ Leave your phone in another room.

→ Turn off the television.

→ Don’t listen to music or a podcast.

Then...simply sit.

No journaling, no meditation app, and no trying to clear your mind.

Just notice.

Notice your breathing.
Notice your body.
Notice the thoughts that keep returning.
Notice the emotions asking for your attention.

If your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back.

There’s nothing to accomplish.

You don’t need to fix anything and you don’t need to make decisions.

Your only job is to listen.

This Week’s Practice

After your ten minutes, ask yourself:

What thought kept returning?
What emotion surprised me?
What did my body notice?
What have I been too busy to acknowledge?
What deserves my attention this week?
What did I learn about myself today?

→ Write down one sentence.

Not a plan and not a solution.

→ Just one honest observation.

Repeat this practice several times this week and notice whether different thoughts or feelings begin to emerge.

Signs It’s Working

You may begin to notice that you:

Recognize your emotions sooner.
Feel less reactive throughout the day.
Become more comfortable with moments of silence.
Respond more intentionally instead of automatically.
Begin trusting yourself a little more.

The goal isn’t to empty your mind. It’s to become more familiar with it.

The One-Line Reorientation

→ “Silence doesn’t create what’s happening inside you. It simply helps you hear it.”

Closing Reflection

We often think healing begins when we finally find the right answer.

Sometimes it does, but sometimes healing begins much earlier.

Healing begins the moment we stop running long enough to hear ourselves.

This week, don’t try to fix yourself and don’t search for profound insights.

Simply make enough silence to listen.

You may discover that what you’ve been searching for hasn’t been hiding.

It has simply been waiting for your attention.

Thank you for reading this article.

— Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“The ones who succeed are those who accept that the journey is long and who keep going even when things get hard.” —Yung Pueblo

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What Silence Allows You To Hear

Jess, The Creator — Sun, 26 Jul 2026 09:55:19 GMT

“Healing doesn't always begin when something changes. Sometimes it begins when something finally receives your attention.”

🩵 A Note from Me

Hi, I’m Jessica.

I write NP Fellow Become The CEO of Your Health— a weekly mental health and functional medicine newsletter about building a healthier relationship with your mind, your body, and yourself.

We spend much of our lives responding.

To work, to family, to responsibilities, and to the constant stream of information asking for our attention.

Quiet, or silence, can feel unfamiliar because it asks something different of us.

It asks us to listen.

This week, we explore why solitude isn’t simply the absence of noise—it can become the place where we finally begin hearing ourselves.

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🚨🔊My New Annual Summer Vibes playlist - 2026 edition is now out on Spotify along with my podcast called NP Fellow Collective!

What Silence Allows You To Hear

The meeting ends, the dishes are finally done, and the children are asleep.

You put your phone down and the house grows quiet.

For the first time all day...nothing needs you and then something unexpected happens.

→ You hear yourself. Not out loud.

Just enough to notice the thought that’s been waiting all day.

The feeling you’ve been carrying for weeks.
The conversation you’ve been avoiding.
The exhaustion you’ve been calling “being busy.”
The dream you’ve quietly stopped believing was possible.

Nothing new appeared and there was finally enough silence to notice what had been there all along.

We spend much of our lives responding to the world around us.

Work.
Family.
Responsibilities.
Notifications.
The next thing on the calendar.

Our attention is constantly pulled outward because modern life rarely rewards stillness.

However, healing often asks something different and it’s not more effort or another strategy.

It’s simply enough quiet or silence to notice what has been patiently waiting beneath the surface.

The Noise We Carry

When we think about noise, we usually think about what we hear.

Traffic, television, conversations, and music; however, some of the loudest noise is invisible.

The constant planning.
The replaying of old conversations.
The mental checklists.
The worrying.
The self-criticism.

Over time, this internal noise becomes so familiar that we stop recognizing it.

We become skilled at staying occupied while slowly losing touch with ourselves because our attention is everywhere else.

Why Quiet & Silence Can Feel Uncomfortable

If solitude is healthy, why do so many of us avoid it?

Because quiet has a way of revealing what distraction can temporarily hide.

When external stimulation fades, our inner experience becomes easier to hear.

Grief.
Loneliness.
Relief.
Exhaustion.
The relationship you’ve outgrown.
The boundary you’ve been postponing.
The part of yourself asking for care.

This isn’t a sign that solitude is making you feel worse.

It’s often the first opportunity you’ve had to notice what was already there.

Your mind isn’t creating these experiences. It’s finally giving them room to be acknowledged.

Solitude is Different From Isolation

These words are often confused, but they aren’t the same.

→ Isolation disconnects us from supportive relationships.

→ Solitude reconnects us with ourselves.

One leaves us feeling cut off.

The other creates space to listen.

Healthy solitude isn’t about escaping people.

It’s about returning to yourself or evolving into your new self so you can return to others with greater clarity, presence, and intention.

What Silence Makes Possible

When life becomes quieter, something else becomes possible.

We begin to notice.

The exhaustion we’ve normalized.
The joy we’ve postponed.
The life we’ve been living on autopilot.
The relationship that no longer feels like home.
The hope we thought we’d lost.

Not because quiet creates these truths, but because it gives them enough space to be heard.

Sometimes the answers we’re searching for aren’t missing.

They’ve simply been waiting for enough silence to reach us.

A Different Kind of Attention

We spend much of our lives paying attention to everything around us.

Deadlines and responsibilities.
Other people’s needs.
The next notification and the next task.

Healing asks a different question.

→ “What inside you has been waiting for your attention?”

Not to be fixed and not to be judged; simply to be noticed.

Sometimes the first act of healing isn’t changing your life.

The first step action in healing is becoming willing to pay attention to it.

Final Thoughts

We often think healing begins when something changes.

A relationship, a diagnosis, or a new beginning.

Sometimes it does and sometimes it begins much earlier.

It begins the moment we stop running long enough to notice ourselves because healing doesn’t always begin when something changes.

Sometimes it begins when something finally receives our attention.

Thank you for reading this article.

Until next Sunday,
—Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“You know when the inner work is paying off when you can see your ego trying to make a mess of things, but you have enough resilience and awareness to choose peace instead of chaos.” —Yung Pueblo

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Weekly Skill: Draw Your Safety Map

Jess, The Creator — Wed, 22 Jul 2026 10:02:40 GMT

One grounded internal skill you can practice this week.

Why This Skill Matters

Some places make you breathe a little deeper before you even realize it.

Some people make your shoulders drop the moment they walk into the room.

Some dogs deserve honorary therapy licenses.

None of that’s an accident.

→ Your body has been quietly keeping track of the moments that feel safe for years.

This week’s skill is about noticing those patterns, so you can return to them more intentionally.

What This Skill Is

A Safety Map is a collection of the people, places, animals, experiences, and sensory cues that help your body settle.

This isn’t a list of your favorite things.

→ It’s a map of the moments that help you feel more grounded.

Sometimes those are the same thing and sometimes they aren’t.

No two Safety Maps will look alike.

That’s exactly what makes them useful.

The Common Mistake

Most of us don’t think about regulation until we’re already overwhelmed.

We’re anxious, emotionally flooded, or already running on empty.

Then we ask,

“How do I calm down?”

→ The problem is we’re trying to solve it in the middle of the storm.

It’s like looking for a fire extinguisher after the kitchen’s already caught fire.

It’s much easier when you already know what helps.

Why This Works

Your brain and body are constantly scanning for one thing:

“Am I safe?:

The answer doesn’t come from thinking harder.

→ It comes from experience.

Every time you feel calmer around a certain person, in a familiar place, or during a particular activity, your brain remembers it.

The more often you return to those experiences, the easier they become to reach for when life feels overwhelming.

You’re not teaching your body something new.

You’re reminding it of something it already knows.

Draw Your Safety Map

Instead of asking:

“How do I calm down?”

Try asking:

→ “When do I naturally feel a little more settled?”

Then start paying attention.

👤 People

Who helps you exhale simply by being themselves?

Not the person who always has the perfect advice.

The person whose presence makes everything feel just a little less heavy.

→ Write their names down.

🐶 Animals

Animals have an incredible way of helping us regulate.

Maybe it’s your dog greeting you at the door.
Your cat curled up beside you.
A horse you ride.
Watching birds outside your window.

→ Notice what changes when they’re nearby.

🌿 Places

Where do you feel yourself unclench?

Maybe it’s:

Your backyard
Your favorite walking trail
The beach
Your favorite chair
A quiet coffee shop
Drinking your favorite coffee
The park or nature trail near your home

The places that help us most usually aren’t extraordinary.

They’re familiar and sometimes that’s exactly what we need.

🌅 Experiences

What helps you feel more like yourself?

Walking or hiking.
Gardening or attending to your plants.
Cooking.
Reading.
Prayer.
Writing.
Swimming.
Listening to music.
Watching the sunrise or sunset.

These moments do more than fill your time.

They give your body space to soften.

✨ Sensory Anchors

Sometimes safety arrives through the senses before we can explain why.

Think about:

Warm tea or coffee
Ocean waves
A dog snoring
Birds singing
Rain on the roof
Lavender
Soft lighting
Your favorite blanket
The feeling of your dog’s fur beneath your hand

Don’t underestimate the small things. They often leave the biggest impression.

🚨 Your Three Emergency Anchors

When life feels overwhelming, what are the first three things you can do that reliably help you begin settling?

Keep them simple and keep them realistic.

For example:

Take my dog for a 10-minute walk.
Sit outside with my morning coffee.
Listen ocean waves.
Watch the sunrise or sunset.
Call someone who helps me feel grounded.
Go for a nature walk.
Pet the dogs for ten minutes.

Your list will be different. That’s the point.

Your Weekly Practice

Ask yourself:

What just happened?
Who was I with?
Where was I?
What changed?

→ Write it down.

You aren’t chasing calm.

You’re learning to recognize where it already exists and don’t overlook the ordinary moments. They’re often doing more for you than you realize.

How You Know It’s Working

You may notice:

You recognize stress earlier.
You reach for healthy coping strategies sooner.
You recover more quickly after difficult moments.
You become more intentional about the environments you spend time in.
You trust your body’s signals a little more.

Most importantly...you stop hoping calm will show up by accident.

You start creating more opportunities to experience it.

The One-Line Reorientation

→ “Your body has been collecting evidence of safety your entire life.”

This week, you’re simply drawing the map.

Closing Reflection

Healing doesn’t always begin by learning something new.

Sometimes it begins by noticing what’s been quietly helping you all along.

The people.
The places.
The routines.
The little moments that help you breathe a little easier.

They’ve probably been there longer than you realized.

This week, draw your Safety Map.

You might discover you’ve had more sources of support than you ever gave yourself credit for.

I’d love to hear from you. 🫶

What’s one person, place, animal, or experience that’s on your Safety Map?

Share it in the comments.

Your answer might help someone else discover a place where they can finally exhale.

Thank you for reading this article.

— Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it

“Instead of saying “I'm sad,” reframe it to “ sadness has temporarily appeared” or “sadness is passing through me.” —Yung Pueblo