It took me a little while to respond to this incredible message. This one is personal to me.
I did not grow up in a safe environment. I realized this early in my life. When I had kids, I valued safety more than anything else. I wanted them to have the steady presence I didn't always have. I wanted their nervous systems to learn what mine took years to learn.
You assess safety when you hear a familiar sound that harkens you back to a day when you weren't safe. You assess it when you enter a room and recognize the room is not a safe space. Your nervous system does regulate over time. The protective response itself can outlive its usefulness. It can remain long after the danger is gone, and it can paralyze you in moments that are actually safe. For me, this has been a lifelong work. Your point about the body already knowing where it feels safe stayed with me. That question you asked, where does my body already know how to feel safe, is the right question. My body recognizes safety from my inner strength today to live authentically as I choose. Thank you for writing it.
One sentence that stayed with me while writing this:
"The nervous system is always listening for safety."
Sometimes healing begins when we start listening, too.
It took me a little while to respond to this incredible message. This one is personal to me.
I did not grow up in a safe environment. I realized this early in my life. When I had kids, I valued safety more than anything else. I wanted them to have the steady presence I didn't always have. I wanted their nervous systems to learn what mine took years to learn.
You assess safety when you hear a familiar sound that harkens you back to a day when you weren't safe. You assess it when you enter a room and recognize the room is not a safe space. Your nervous system does regulate over time. The protective response itself can outlive its usefulness. It can remain long after the danger is gone, and it can paralyze you in moments that are actually safe. For me, this has been a lifelong work. Your point about the body already knowing where it feels safe stayed with me. That question you asked, where does my body already know how to feel safe, is the right question. My body recognizes safety from my inner strength today to live authentically as I choose. Thank you for writing it.
👣👀🏡😶🌫️🙌