Weekly Skill: Holding Two Truths
How to stay grounded when life refuses to fit into either/or.
One grounded internal skill you can practice this week.
If you haven’t yet read Sunday’s essay, Reality Is Usually Both, I recommend starting there. It explores why emotional health requires making room for more than one truth. This week’s skill turns that idea into a practical daily practice.
The Moment This Shows Up
You’re excited...and terrified.
You know leaving is the right decision...and you grieve what you’re leaving behind.
You’re grateful for the opportunity...and completely overwhelmed by it.
Someone you love disappoints you...and you still love them.
Almost immediately, your mind starts looking for the “correct” feeling.
“If I’m scared, maybe I shouldn’t do it.”
“If I’m grieving, maybe I’m making the wrong choice.”
“If I’m disappointed, maybe the relationship isn’t worth keeping.”
As if one emotion has to win before you’re allowed to move forward.
However, what if that’s the wrong question?
What if both feelings belong?
That’s the moment this skill is for.
Why This Skill Matters
One of the biggest signs of emotional maturity isn’t having fewer conflicting emotions.
It’s becoming less afraid of them.
Many of us grow up believing every situation has one correct feeling.
If we’re grateful, we shouldn’t feel disappointed.
If we’re healing, we shouldn’t still struggle.
If we’re confident, we shouldn’t feel afraid.
So when two emotions show up at the same time, we assume something is wrong.
Usually, nothing is wrong.
Life is simply more complex than our minds want it to be.
This skill is about learning to hold two truths without rushing to eliminate one of them.
What This Skill Is
Holding two truths means allowing two honest experiences to exist at the same time.
For example:
I love this person, and I need better boundaries.
I’m grateful for this opportunity, and I’m overwhelmed.
I’m scared, and I’m capable.
I’m grieving, and I’m moving forward.
I don’t know everything, and I know enough for today.
Notice what changes.
Instead of forcing yourself to choose one truth...you make room for both.
Sometimes that’s enough to change how you experience the moment.
Why Our Minds Fight This
Your brain naturally prefers certainty especially when you’re stressed.
It wants simple categories.
Good or bad.
Safe or dangerous.
Right or wrong.
Because certainty feels easier to manage than complexity.
However, life rarely fits into neat categories.
The more you practice making room for complexity, the less threatening it begins to feel.
You aren’t teaching your brain that uncertainty is enjoyable.
You’re teaching it that uncertainty is survivable.
That changes everything.
The Common Mistake
When mixed emotions appear, most people immediately try to solve them.
They ask:
“Which feeling is the real one?”
Often...both are.
The discomfort usually isn’t coming from the emotions themselves.
It’s coming from believing only one of them is allowed.
The more you fight complexity, the heavier it feels.
The Skill Itself
When you notice yourself being pulled in two different emotional directions, practice these four steps.
1. Name The First Truth
Start with the feeling that feels most obvious.
“I’m disappointed.”
“I’m scared.”
“I’m exhausted.”
Simply acknowledge it.
2. Ask One Question
Now ask:
What else can also be true?
Maybe...
“I’m disappointed...and I’m still grateful.”
“I’m afraid...and I’m still ready.”
“I’m grieving...and I’m also growing.”
Don’t force an answer.
Just stay curious.
3. Resist Solving It
This is the hard part.
You don’t need to decide which emotion wins.
Just notice them and allow them.
Some experiences aren’t meant to be solved.
They’re meant to be carried.
And strangely enough...when emotions stop competing, they often become easier to hold.
4. Act From Your Values
→ Feelings provide information.
→ Values provide direction.
Instead of asking:
“What do I feel like doing?”
Ask:
“What kind of person do I want to be in this moment?”
That question helps you keep moving even when your emotions disagree.
How To Practice
This week, every time you notice an emotionally charged moment, finish this sentence:
“Both of these things can be true...”
→ Write down both truths.
Don’t explain them, don’t defend them, and don’t rush to resolve them.
Simply practice holding them together.
How You Know It’s Working
You may notice:
Less pressure to feel certain.
Fewer all-or-nothing thoughts.
Greater emotional steadiness.
More self-compassion.
Better decisions over time.
Less urgency to immediately resolve uncomfortable emotions.
Life won’t become simpler, but your relationship with complexity will.
The One-Line Reorientation
→ “Two truths can exist without cancelling each other out.”
Come back to this whenever your mind insists only one feeling is allowed.
When To Use This Skill
Practice this skill when:
You’re making a difficult decision.
You’re grieving a meaningful change.
You’re navigating conflict in a relationship.
You’re experiencing mixed emotions.
You’re waiting for certainty before taking the next step.
You notice yourself trying to force one emotion to erase another.
Why This Compounds Over Time
Every time you make room for complexity, you strengthen your ability to respond instead of react.
You become less dependent on certainty.
Less afraid of uncomfortable emotions.
More trusting of your ability to carry difficult experiences without immediately needing to resolve them.
That’s emotional maturity.
Not because life becomes easier, but because you become more capable of meeting it as it is.
Journaling Prompts
What two truths am I struggling to hold right now?
Which feeling am I trying to eliminate instead of understand?
What changes when I replace “either/or” with “both/and”?
What values can guide me even while my emotions disagree?
Where could I make more room for complexity this week?
Closing Reflection
You don’t have to choose between hope and grief.
Or courage and fear.
Or gratitude and disappointment.
Some of the healthiest moments in life come when we stop asking which feeling is correct......and start asking whether they might both belong.
Thank you for reading this article.
— Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it
“Don’t trust the way you see yourself when your mind is turbulent and remember that even pain is temporary. Honor your boundaries, treat yourself gently, let go of perfection and feel your emotions without letting them control you. You have enough experience to face the storm and evolve from it.” —Yung Pueblo
Previous Weekly Skills
Weekly Skill: The Skill of Seeing Yourself Clearly
One grounded internal skill you can practice this week.
Weekly Skill: Setting Boundaries Without Creating Distance
One grounded internal skill you can practice this week.
Weekly Skill: Following The Thread & Trusting What Matters
One grounded internal skill you can practice this week.
MEDICAL DISCLAIMER
This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice or to take the place of such advice or treatment from a personal physician. All readers/viewers of this content are advised to consult their doctors or qualified health professionals regarding specific health questions. All viewers of this content, especially those taking prescription or over-the-counter medications, should consult their physicians before beginning any nutrition, supplement or lifestyle program.
Great article. When we become more in touch with our emotions and less afraid to feel, we are more apt to take on new experiences (in a whole new light).
Great article! This resonated. I tend to think I have to choose one feeling or the other, when often both are true. I’m scared and I’m capable is one I’m going to remember.