Strong piece. It’s never the argument that lingers—it’s the quiet distance that settles in after. The real weight isn’t in the splash, it’s in what doesn’t get repaired. Coming back deliberate, even just with presence, is what rebuilds the safety.
That loving-kindness practice feels like a solid place to start.
Great article. Self-reflecting as I read it. For me, the biggest challenge to repair work is a freeze response when I feel attacked. In one important relationship, that contributed to my simply letting the rupture persist, while labeling it respecting her choice. I'm still not sure.
The best articles make you think. So thank you for this.
Hi, Deborah! Thank you for this thoughtful reflection. Naming the freeze response brings so much clarity to why repair can feel impossible in the moment. I really appreciate your honesty and strength in sitting with the uncertainty, that in itself, is meaningful work.
Strong piece. It’s never the argument that lingers—it’s the quiet distance that settles in after. The real weight isn’t in the splash, it’s in what doesn’t get repaired. Coming back deliberate, even just with presence, is what rebuilds the safety.
That loving-kindness practice feels like a solid place to start.
Thanks for putting it clear.
It’s never just the argument.
It’s the emotional cleanup we don’t do afterward that stays with us.
Great article. Self-reflecting as I read it. For me, the biggest challenge to repair work is a freeze response when I feel attacked. In one important relationship, that contributed to my simply letting the rupture persist, while labeling it respecting her choice. I'm still not sure.
The best articles make you think. So thank you for this.
Hi, Deborah! Thank you for this thoughtful reflection. Naming the freeze response brings so much clarity to why repair can feel impossible in the moment. I really appreciate your honesty and strength in sitting with the uncertainty, that in itself, is meaningful work.
Yessssss, repair requires presence!!
Another masterpiece. I will always prefer repairing, like fixing it, over regretting it.