One grounded internal skill you can practice this week.
Sunday, we talked about what happens when taking responsibility turns into punishing yourself, but self-punishment isn’t the only way we turn against our own experience.
Sometimes we dismiss it before we’ve even understood it.
I shouldn’t be this upset.
I’m overreacting.
I should be over this by now.
Sometimes we’re so busy deciding whether our reaction is acceptable that we never actually listen to what it’s telling us.
That’s where self-validation comes in.
Why This Skill Matters
Most of us know how reassuring it feels when someone understands us.
You tell a friend what happened and they say:
Of course that hurt.
I can see why you reacted that way.
That makes sense.
Something settles. The situation hasn’t changed. They haven’t solved anything.
You just don’t have to argue with your own experience anymore.
But what happens when nobody else says it or when someone tells you that you shouldn’t feel the way you do?
If someone else has to agree with your experience before you’re allowed to trust it, you can spend a lot of time trying to convince people that your feelings make sense.
Sometimes the person who needs to acknowledge what you’re experiencing is you.
What This Skill Is
Self-validation means recognizing your internal experience without immediately judging, dismissing, or arguing with it.
