My husband and I rebuilt our marriage. It was not easy. Having courageous conversations was our problem. My husband is comfortable buying me long stem roses, but not having a courageous conversation. Once we decided we are going to tell each other how we are really feeling the relationship moved. We are married 29 years. We met in our early twenties.
The challenging part is who initiates reconnection after conflict. The anxious attachment system will lean in fast, which often pushes the avoidant one further.
The willingness of someone to come back to the relationship after conflict is what usually determines if the relationship mends or breaks. Very messy process, but worth it.
My husband and I rebuilt our marriage. It was not easy. Having courageous conversations was our problem. My husband is comfortable buying me long stem roses, but not having a courageous conversation. Once we decided we are going to tell each other how we are really feeling the relationship moved. We are married 29 years. We met in our early twenties.
This is such a light bulb !!! Capacity !!
Such a great piece, Jess. This is such an important skill to have in order to maintain healthy relationships.
The challenging part is who initiates reconnection after conflict. The anxious attachment system will lean in fast, which often pushes the avoidant one further.
The willingness of someone to come back to the relationship after conflict is what usually determines if the relationship mends or breaks. Very messy process, but worth it.
Great insight, and something I have experienced too many times.
They are, yes, built in the tough moments
Most relationships don't fall apart because people stop caring.
They fall apart because neither person knows how to stay connected when things get hard.
We're talking about nervous systems, conflict, repair, and one of the most overlooked relationship skills:
The ability to find your way back after disconnection.
I love this. No relationship is perfect, but learning how to come back and repair is important.
Thank you so much, Denise!!!