Why Spaciousness Changes Everything
Making space for what’s next.
“Always do your best to be a better person than you were yesterday.”
✌️A Note from Me
Hi, I’m Jessica.
I write NP Fellow—a weekly mental health and functional medicine newsletter for people who want real, honest, and science-backed support.
I’m a nurse practitioner, professional writer, and stock trader who writes like the friend you’d call at 2am—someone who actually gets it.
I started NP Fellow to create the kind of trustworthy space I wish existed when I was struggling: no fluff, no fear-based health advice, just grounded tools and insight, practical wisdom, and real talk backed by neuroscience and lived experience.
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Why Spaciousness Changes Everything
Most of us don’t realize how tight our inner world has become.
Tight with expectations.
Tight with self-judgment.
Tight with urgency, planning, fixing, and striving.
We carry this tension quietly—in our thoughts, in our bodies, in how we respond to ourselves and others and over time, that tightness begins to feel normal.
But there’s another way to be with life; it’s called spaciousness.
What Spaciousness Actually Is
Spaciousness isn’t emptiness.
It isn’t disengagement and it isn’t giving up.
Spaciousness is a way of being with the whole of life—one that creates room around thoughts, emotions, and experiences instead of collapsing into them.
It’s the difference between:
reacting and responding.
gripping and holding gently.
attacking yourself and meeting yourself.
Spaciousness allows life to move without being forced.
Inner Violence vs. Inner Space
Most people don’t realize how much inner violence they live with.
Not physical violence—but psychological.
Harsh self-talk.
Constant correction.
Urgency toward improvement.
An undercurrent of “not enough.”
This inner pressure doesn’t stay contained. It leaks outward into irritability, tension, defensiveness, and subtle animosity—toward ourselves and toward others.
Spaciousness doesn’t make you passive; it makes you less violent internally.
And when inner violence reduces, something remarkable happens:
love, patience, generosity, and gratitude begin to emerge naturally—without effort.
The Neuroscience of Spaciousness
From a nervous system perspective, this makes sense.
The brain cannot distinguish between an external threat and an internal one.
Chronic self-criticism, pressure, and urgency activate the same threat pathways as danger in the outside world.
When the inner environment feels hostile, the nervous system stays on alert—vigilant, tense, and reactive.
Spaciousness changes this.
When attention softens and self-attack quiets, the nervous system exits threat mode. This creates safety—and safety is what allows regulation, clarity, emotional flexibility, and compassion to return.
In simple terms: space creates safety.
And safety is the condition for healing, connection, and growth.
Spaciousness As Non-Attachment (Without Disengagement)
Spaciousness doesn’t mean you stop caring.
It means you stop gripping.
Non-attachment isn’t indifference. It’s the ability to care deeply without collapsing into control or fear. To love without clinging. To participate without forcing outcomes.
You can be fully engaged with life—and still leave room for it to move.
This is where ease replaces force.
Making Space for What’s Next
Many people wonder why clarity, opportunity, or alignment hasn’t arrived yet.
Often, it’s not because something is missing.
It’s because there’s no space.
New seasons don’t enter crowded interiors and insight doesn’t land in minds that are constantly pushing.
What’s meant for you often arrives when you stop crowding yourself.
Spaciousness isn’t waiting. It’s preparation.
Receiving: Allowing Life to Meet You
Most people know how to give.
Fewer know how to receive.
Inner tension blocks reception—of help, love, support, timing, grace. Spaciousness creates the conditions for nurture to be accepted—from others and from life itself.
You’re not separate from the world around you. You’re in constant relationship with it. And when you soften, that relationship becomes reciprocal.
Life meets you when you make room.
Simple Ways to Cultivate Spaciousness
This doesn’t require a new practice or a perfect routine.
Spaciousness can begin quietly:
pausing before responding.
noticing where you’re gripping.
softening the breath or posture.
allowing emotions without commentary.
letting moments remain unfinished.
None of this is something to master.
Spaciousness is something to allow.
Final Thoughts: A Grounded Way To Enter The New Year
This year doesn’t need to be forced.
You don’t need to arrive anywhere quickly.
You don’t need to fix yourself.
You don’t need to become someone else.
You can begin by making room.
Spaciousness isn’t something you achieve. It’s something you return to.
And from that space, life has a way of unfolding—naturally, gently, and often more beautifully than we imagined.
Until next Sunday,
—Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it
“Two days we can’t change, yesterday and tomorrow. Today is the only time we truly have to act, make choices, learn, and live fully.” —Dalai Lama
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MEDICAL DISCLAIMER
This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice or to take the place of such advice or treatment from a personal physician. All readers/viewers of this content are advised to consult their doctors or qualified health professionals regarding specific health questions. All viewers of this content, especially those taking prescription or over-the-counter medications, should consult their physicians before beginning any nutrition, supplement or lifestyle program.
Thank you for another beautiful newsletter, Jessica. At this time of year, it's really important for us to consider what spaciousness means. Sometimes for me, this can equate to silence and stillness. Neither of which should actually be seen as negatives, but something that needs to be embraced alongside the constant momentum that many of us seem to strive for. Thank you for the calm reminder and the permission. It is extremely appreciated.
I LOVE this newsletter!! I'm always awed by your writing skills Jess, you are truly talented. I've currently been having a similar inner dialogue/analysis with myself of a situation with a family member, having similar ideas, but not real clarity. Reading your article was like being at the eye doctor's office when he slides the lenses into place & now you can see the chart clearly. Thanks for the insight and for so clearly articulating the idea of "spaciousness". So very helpful to me! Happy New Year to you!!!