How To Be The Person Who Holds Gravity
Why emotional regulation—not effort—is the key to calm confidence, inner stability, and the ability to change the room without trying.
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Hi, I’m Jessica.
I write NP Fellow—a weekly mental health and functional medicine newsletter for people who want real, honest, and science-backed support.
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How To Be The Person Who Holds Gravity
There’s a certain kind of person we all recognize.
They don’t rush into rooms.
They don’t raise their voice to be heard.
They don’t explain themselves excessively or try to control the moment.
And yet—when they’re present, the room changes.
Conversations slow down, emotions settle, and things feel steadier.
You can’t always name what it is, but you feel it.
This is what I call holding gravity.
Not dominance, not charisma, and not productivity or perfection.
Gravity is quieter than that.
What “Holding Gravity” Actually Means
Holding gravity is the ability to remain emotionally steady without becoming emotionally distant.
It looks like:
Presence without urgency.
Weight without heaviness.
Stability without control.
People who hold gravity don’t need to perform calmness—they embody it.
Their nervous system is doing the work for them.
And here’s the important part: Holding gravity isn’t a personality trait. It’s a physiological state.
Why Regulated People Feel Powerful (The Neuroscience)
Your nervous system is always communicating—long before you say a word.
When your nervous system is regulated:
Your tone softens.
Your movements slow.
Your breathing deepens.
Your reactions become intentional instead of reflexive.
This is parasympathetic dominance at work—the part of your nervous system responsible for safety, connection, and restoration.
Humans are wired for co-regulation.
We subconsciously borrow calm from people who have it.
That’s why regulated people feel grounded.
That’s why they feel trustworthy.
That’s why their presence stabilizes others without effort.
Your body speaks before your mouth ever does.
Why Most People Lose Their Gravity Without Realizing It
Most people don’t lose gravity because they’re weak.
They lose it because they’re trying too hard to stay afloat.
Common ways gravity leaks out:
Chronic urgency.
Over-explaining.
Emotional reactivity.
Nervous laughter.
Constant movement or distraction.
Trying to prove stability instead of embodying it.
These aren’t character flaws; they’re survival responses.
When your nervous system doesn’t feel safe, it searches for control. And control always looks louder than calm.
Stillness is The Training Ground for Gravity
Stillness isn’t doing nothing and it isn’t disengaging from life.
Stillness is where your nervous system finally gets to integrate.
It’s where:
Emotions digest.
Stress hormones settle.
Meaning consolidates.
Your internal pace resets.
We live in a culture that equates stillness with stagnation; however, biologically, the opposite is true.
Growth doesn’t happen during constant motion; it happens during consolidation.
Gravity is built in stillness—not action.
This is especially important in December, when everything around you is louder, faster, and more demanding.
Stillness isn’t quitting; it’s recalibration.
How To Practice Holding Gravity (Without Performing It)
This isn’t about adding more practices to your life.
It’s about removing the ones that drain you.
Start here:
Slow your speech slightly—even when you’re certain.
Let silence exist without rushing to fill it.
Pause before responding, especially emotionally.
Stop explaining yourself when you’ve already been clear.
Reduce urgency in your movements and decisions.
These aren’t tricks. They’re signals of safety—to yourself and others.
You don’t need to look calm. You need to feel safe enough to stay.
What Changes When You Hold Gravity
When gravity returns, things begin to shift quietly.
Conversations de-escalate faster.
Relationships soften.
Decisions feel cleaner.
Energy stops leaking.
People feel safer around you.
Not because you’re doing more, but because you’re no longer dysregulated.
This is quiet authority. Not control and not dominance, but stability.
A Final Reframe
You don’t need to become more this season.
You don’t need to fix yourself.
You don’t need to push.
You need to stabilize what’s already there.
Holding gravity isn’t something you do.
It’s what happens when your nervous system finally feels safe enough to stay.
And that—especially right now—is more than enough.
Until next Sunday,
—Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it
“You have walked through fire, survived floods, and triumphed over demons. Remember this, the next time you doubt your own power.” —Yung Pueblo, Inward
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MEDICAL DISCLAIMER
This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice or to take the place of such advice or treatment from a personal physician. All readers/viewers of this content are advised to consult their doctors or qualified health professionals regarding specific health questions. All viewers of this content, especially those taking prescription or over-the-counter medications, should consult their physicians before beginning any nutrition, supplement or lifestyle program.
Great article, Jess! And perfect timing with the holidays. Can’t wait to implement some of your tips for practicing holding gravity!
Beautiful write up… I am trying to work on stillness on my life right now. Thank you for some practical ways to start!