The Art of Turning A Year Older Without Turning on Yourself
For anyone who’s ever felt behind on their birthday—here’s what you might be missing about your own progress.
“You were born to create. Let it flow.”
💛A Note from Me
Hi, I’m Jessica.
I write NP Fellow—a weekly mental health and functional medicine newsletter for people who want real, honest, and science-backed support.
I’m a nurse practitioner, professional writer, and stock trader who writes like the friend you’d call at 2am—someone who actually gets it.
I started NP Fellow to create the kind of trustworthy space I wish existed when I was struggling: no fluff, no WebMD fear, no Sunday scaries, just practical tools, and real talk backed by science-based insights.
If you’re here to learn, grow, heal, and help others feel less alone—welcome!
There’s something about birthdays that always makes me reflect.
I’ve had years where I felt behind, and others where I finally gave myself credit for surviving what no one else saw.
Writing this reminded me that growth isn’t loud, it’s layered.
If you’ve ever felt that quiet birthday pressure to “have it all figured out,” I hope this piece brings you a little peace.
My yearly designed Halloween vibes playlist for 2025 is out on Spotify!!
When Birthdays Feel Heavy
Birthdays have a way of stopping us in our tracks.
Even when we try not to make it a big deal, something about that day pulls us inward—a natural checkpoint that asks:
“Did I do enough this year?”
“Am I where I thought I’d be by now?”
And that’s where the unease often begins.
For many, birthdays feel less like celebrations and more like subtle audits of a life in progress.
But maybe, we’ve been measuring wrong because not every year is meant to be visible growth.
Some years are meant to be quiet rebuilding—slow, invisible, and deeply internal.
Psychologists actually call this the temporal landmark effect—those moments in time, like birthdays or New Year’s, that naturally trigger self-reflection and reset our motivation systems.
It’s our brain’s way of separating “past me” from “future me,” encouraging us to pause and consider who we’re becoming. That’s not anxiety—that’s awareness.
The Invisible Kind of Progress
Growth isn’t always about forward motion.
Sometimes it’s the courage to pause, the wisdom to rest, or the grace to stay.
The years that seem uneventful—the ones without major milestones or achievements—often become the most defining chapters in retrospect.
Those are the years you laid groundwork, repaired unseen parts of yourself, and learned how to hold peace instead of chaos.
Progress isn’t always loud.
It often whispers in the background while no one is watching and when you look back one day, you’ll realize how much you were quietly rebuilding all along.
A Different Kind of Resolution
Birthdays often feel like New Year’s Eve in disguise—full of reflection, resolution, and the pressure to start over.
But what if you didn’t have to start over this time?
What if this year, you simply continued?
Continue showing up gently.
Continue letting go of what weighs you down.
Continue becoming the kind of person who doesn’t need to prove they’re evolving—because they feel it.
You don’t need to reinvent yourself every birthday. You just need to keep becoming yourself more fully.
The Invitation
When your next birthday arrives, skip the self-audit.
Instead, take inventory of what you learned, what you healed, and what you now understand about being human.
Because the truth is, every birthday is a form of rebirth—not because everything changes, but because you do.
You see your life through a slightly wiser lens and stand a little taller in who you’ve become.
So light your candles, take a deep breath, and make a wish that isn’t about achieving more.
Make a wish to be more—more present, more grounded, and more at peace in your own skin.
Another year older isn’t a reminder of time passing. It’s proof that you’re still becoming—quietly, beautifully, and in your own time.
Your Reflection for The Week
Write down three quiet ways you grew this past year—the kind no one saw, but you.
If you need a few reminders, here are some examples:
You stopped explaining your worth.
You chose peace over proving your point.
You began saying “no” without guilt.
You softened your inner voice.
You let go of the timeline.
You returned to your body—listening to it before it burned out.
You forgave yourself for something old.
You asked for help when it felt uncomfortable.
You allowed joy without earning it.
You stayed—with the discomfort, the process, and the becoming.
Now, read them back slowly.
Let them remind you that progress isn’t always measured in milestones,
but in moments where you chose to stay soft and keep going anyway.
And when the next birthday comes—may you look back not with pressure, but with quiet pride for the person who kept growing, even when no one was watching.
You’re still becoming and that’s worth celebrating.
Final Thoughts
Every year adds another layer—of lessons, of softness, and of strength you didn’t know you were building.
And maybe the real art of turning a year older isn’t about chasing transformation, but noticing the quiet ways you’ve already changed.
Birthdays remind us that life isn’t a race; it’s a rhythm.
Some years expand us, others steady us, but all of them shape us into who we’re meant to become.
So this year, instead of asking “What’s next?”
Ask:
“What stayed?
What grew roots? ‘
What feels more like me now?”
Because sometimes the biggest gift you can give yourself is permission to keep becoming—without apology, without pressure, and without rushing the timeline.
This birthday, join with gold because every crack, lesson, and year that shaped you was never meant to break you—only to make you shine.
Thank you for reading this article.
Until next Sunday,
—Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it
“When you deeply get to know yourself through the energy of self-love, you start to learn about the human condition, and how your own heavy emotions and traumas have shaped your behavior and reactions over time. As you become less of a mystery to yourself, you can start to look at other people with a greater sense of clarity and compassion.” —Yung Pueblo
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MEDICAL DISCLAIMER
This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice or to take the place of such advice or treatment from a personal physician. All readers/viewers of this content are advised to consult their doctors or qualified health professionals regarding specific health questions. All viewers of this content, especially those taking prescription or over-the-counter medications, should consult their physicians before beginning any nutrition, supplement or lifestyle program.
happy birthday to me!! 🤗🤝💅🥳
Mike has a new album out and i’m thinking