We Struggle and Succeed Together
Why interdependence, not independence, is the quiet foundation of well-being.
“Real maturity is observing your own inner turbulence and pausing before you project how you feel onto what is happening around you.”
🤗A Note from Me
Hi, I’m Jessica.
I write NP Fellow—a weekly mental health and functional medicine newsletter for people who want real, honest, and science-backed support.
I’m a nurse practitioner, professional writer, and stock trader who writes like the friend you’d call at 2am—someone who actually gets it.
I started NP Fellow to create the kind of trustworthy space I wish existed when I was struggling: no fluff, no fear-based health advice, just grounded tools and insight, practical wisdom, and real talk backed by neuroscience and lived experience.
If you’re here to grow, to heal, and to build a life you can trust—welcome!
Let’s talk about something very important today; relationships.
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We Struggle and Succeed Together
We’re often taught that strength looks like independence.
Standing on your own.
Handling things quietly.
Not needing too much from anyone else.
For many of us, this belief starts early. It’s reinforced by culture, productivity, and the subtle praise we receive for being “low maintenance” or “self-sufficient.”
Over time, independence becomes not just a value, but a measure of worth.
And yet, something about that story never fully settles because despite our best efforts, most of us don’t actually struggle alone—and we don’t succeed alone either.
Interdependence Isn’t A Philosophy. It’s Reality.
Interdependence isn’t an idea we adopt; it’s a condition we live inside.
We aren’t separate systems moving through life in parallel.
Our nervous systems, emotions, and sense of self are shaped continuously by the people and communities we move within—often in ways we don’t consciously notice.
How safe we feel.
How regulated we remain under stress.
How resilient we are after difficulty.
These aren’t purely internal achievements. They’re relational outcomes.
Independence has value. It helps us develop agency and competence; however, thriving—actual true, sustainable well-being—has always been interdependent.
Relationships Are The Lived Expression of Interdependence
Relationships are where interdependence becomes visible.
Not just romantic relationships, but friendships, families, communities, and workplaces—any space where humans share emotional and physiological proximity.
We are shaped by:
who stays when things get hard.
who listens without rushing.
who meets us with steadiness instead of solutions.
And we are shaped, too, by absence:
by chronic misalignment or disharmony.
by being unseen or unheard.
by having to hold everything alone for too long.
None of this makes us weak. It makes us human.
A Nervous-System Perspective on Interdependence
From a neuroscience perspective, the nervous system is inherently relational.
Our bodies are constantly scanning the environment for cues of safety and threat—not just from physical surroundings, but from people.
Tone of voice
Facial expression
Pacing
Presence
Cues of safety and threat are processed faster than conscious thought.
This is why:
calm spreads.
tension escalates.
being with the “right” person can help us settle without effort.
Safety isn’t something the nervous system generates in isolation. It’s something it receives, recognizes, and learns through experience.
When connection is consistent and harmonic, the nervous system learns regulation.
When connection is absent or unpredictable, the nervous system compensates—often through hypervigilance, withdrawal, or overwhelm.
This isn’t a personal failing. It’s biology responding to context.
The Cost of Disconnection
Many of the struggles people carry quietly—burnout, loneliness, emotional fatigue—aren’t signs of inadequacy; they’re signals.
Signals that the load has exceeded what one nervous system can sustainably hold alone.
Disconnection doesn’t always look dramatic.
Sometimes disconnection looks like:
functioning well, but feeling hollow.
being capable, but chronically tired.
appearing independent while quietly longing for support.
These experiences don’t mean something is wrong with you. They often mean something essential has been missing.
A Gentle Reframe
Independence isn’t the opposite of interdependence; it’s incomplete without it.
We don’t lose strength by needing one another.
We gain stability.
We gain perspective.
We gain room to breathe.
To recognize interdependence isn’t to give up autonomy—it’s to place autonomy inside the reality it was always meant to live within.
We struggle together. We succeed together. Even when we don’t name it.
Closing Reflection
You aren’t meant to carry everything alone.
Your well-being has always been shaped in relationship—by those who steady you, challenge you, and remind your body what safety feels like.
Interdependence isn’t something to earn or outgrow. It’s something to recognize.
And sometimes, simply seeing that truth clearly is enough to soften how we move through the world.
If it feels supportive, take a quiet moment and write:
“I give myself permission to be…”
Nothing more is required. No fixing and no proving. Just space.
Thank you for reading this article.
Until next Sunday,
—Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it
“True power is living the realization that you are your own healer, hero, and leader. It’s when you share your truth with compassion and peace. Your power grows when you make progress in your own freedom and wisdom. Those who are truly powerful don’t harm themselves or others; instead, they use their energy to enrich all they know with love.” —Yung Pueblo
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MEDICAL DISCLAIMER
This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice or to take the place of such advice or treatment from a personal physician. All readers/viewers of this content are advised to consult their doctors or qualified health professionals regarding specific health questions. All viewers of this content, especially those taking prescription or over-the-counter medications, should consult their physicians before beginning any nutrition, supplement or lifestyle program.
I truly enjoyed this reading so much. I reread this line 3 times to myself
"This isn’t a personal failing. It’s biology responding to context."
This lifted me this morning, thank you.
Nice one Jess!