12 Comments
User's avatar
Everything is Gray's avatar

I need the "What do I know step first." Those stupid imaginary conversations! 😂

Jess, The Creator's avatar

Me too! Those stories we tell ourselves can definitely get to us! This article was helpful for me as well!

Mick's avatar

Phenomenal, and really useful skill! Especially in the today's age of distance.

Jess, The Creator's avatar

Thank you, Mick! I found it useful it’s this day and age for sure!! It was helpful to write this!

Chris B. Writes's avatar

Great skill Jess!

Jess, The Creator's avatar

thank you so much, Chris! appreciate you!!

Human Potential & Resilience's avatar

Focusing on understanding over ego

Jess, The Creator's avatar

Very true, I like that!

Denise Servais's avatar

This resonates. I think a lot of us replay conversations in our heads instead of just going back and asking, Can we try again? Such a good reminder that repair is a skill.

Eladio Matos's avatar

Great article, Jess! This is such an important skill to have. To be able to get rid of the assumption of why the breakdown happened in the first place is vital. Otherwise, our imagination can run wild.

Double ID's avatar

I have often experienced people separating because of any kind of disagreement about something. Regardless of whether a fight or disagreement broke out, the separation was inevitable, but with it the separation of people. From what I know and can tell, often and almost always pride and spite are so high that no one wants to take the first step... because in people's minds there is a premise that taking the first step automatically means going beyond own opinion and attitude, admitting guilt, and that is where everything gets complicated if the other side interprets it that way, and not as a step towards preserving the relationship in the face of a simple disagreement.

Let's Get Clear's avatar

Fantastic insight into the cause of relationship breakdowns. What we often find in life is that the challenges that appear to separate useful actually connect us. We are all a work in progress.