Your Identity Is Running Your Life—Here’s How to Rewrite It
A deep, neuroscience-backed guide to self-worth, boundaries, and becoming the person your life is asking you to be.
“Two of the great lessons humanity will learn in the 21st century will be: to harm another is to harm oneself. And when heal yourself, you heal the world.”
♥️A Note from Me
Hi, I’m Jessica.
I write NP Fellow—a weekly mental health and functional medicine newsletter for people who want real, honest, and science-backed support.
I’m a nurse practitioner, professional writer, and stock trader who writes like the friend you’d call at 2am—someone who actually gets it.
I started NP Fellow to create the kind of trustworthy space I wish existed when I was struggling: no fluff, no WebMD fear, no Sunday scaries, just practical tools, and real talk backed by science-based insights.
If you’re here to learn, grow, heal, and help others feel less alone—welcome!
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about identity — not the curated identity we perform, but the quiet inner identity that directs our choices, our boundaries, and what we allow ourselves to experience in life.
And here’s the truth I keep coming back to:
You cannot protect your worth if you don’t know who you are.
Every time I speak to someone who feels underpaid, underestimated, overlooked, or confused about their direction, the real issue isn’t motivation.
It’s also not discipline or a lack of ability.
It’s identity.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re made for more but aren’t sure how to step into it, this is for you.
Lets begin.
My newest handpicked playlist called “End of The Year Vibes” is now out!! #don’tsleep!!
🌀NP Fellow will always be free—but if you’d like to support this mission, you can now Join with Gold!
The Identity Problem No One Talks About
Most people try to upgrade their life through discipline, habits, motivation, or sheer effort.
But that’s not where transformation begins.
Your life cannot outgrow your identity.
You can’t outperform the story you believe about yourself.
If you believe you’re average, you’ll accept average treatment.
If you believe you’re replaceable, you’ll play small.
If you believe your worth is conditional, you’ll keep trying to earn it.
Identity sets both the ceiling and the floor of your reality.
Nothing changes until you do.
Again, nothing changes until you do.
Where Identity Actually Comes From
Your identity is shaped by:
the roles you learned to play.
the expectations placed on you.
what you survived.
the ways you shrank yourself.
the memories that shaped your worth.
the beliefs you adopted to stay safe.
the stories you told yourself to get through hard moments.
Most people never stop to ask:
“Is this who I genuinely am—or who I learned to be?”
If you don’t consciously name your identity, the world will name it for you.
And the world will always label you smaller than your potential.
The Neuroscience of Identity (and How Your Mind Creates Your Future)
Identity isn’t just emotional—it’s neurological.
Your brain builds your identity from memory, repetition, and familiar patterns.
Its #1 job is predictability.
Not growth.
Not evolution.
Not expansion.
This means your brain prefers:
familiar beliefs.
familiar emotional patterns.
familiar roles.
familiar self-concepts.
…even when they no longer match who you are.
This is why people stay stuck even when they want change—not because they’re weak, but because their identity is built from outdated “evidence.”
Your subconscious mind creates your future through identity.
Identity = the internal story your brain uses to predict your behavior, your limits, and what you deserve.
And here’s where it gets fascinating:
Your brain cannot distinguish between a lived memory and an intensely imagined one!!
Neuroscience calls this memory reconsolidation, which is where your brain rewrites identity using emotional experience, imagery, or mental rehearsal.
This is the mechanism high performers use intuitively.
Memory reconsolidation is why visualization works, why exposure therapy works, why mental rehearsal improves skill, and why internal identity shifts precede external life shifts.
Past-Tense Journaling = Identity Rewiring
When you write your goals as though they already happened, your subconscious stores the experience as a memory, not a fantasy:
“I became the kind of person who…”
“This year, I finally…”
“I stopped abandoning myself.”
“I raised my standards.”
“I stepped into the version of me who earns __.”
Once the subconscious accepts the memory, it updates the identity.
Once identity updates, your behavior, boundaries, confidence, and standards shift automatically.
You stop chasing the thing and become the person who already lived it.
Identity becomes the cause and reality becomes the effect.
Here’s a visual map of how identity forms in the brain:
This is the real science behind identity change—not hustle, not motivation, not forcing discipline, but rewiring the self.
Identity Determines Self-Worth (Not the Other Way Around)
Self-worth doesn’t come from achievements, approval, or performance.
Self-worth springs from identity.
When you know who you are, you don’t:
tolerate disrespect.
shrink in rooms.
negotiate your value.
settle for crumbs.
chase what isn’t aligned.
stay where you aren’t seen.
lower your standards.
Identity gives you a posture that cannot be faked:
“I know who I am.”
“I know what I deserve.”
“And, I know where I belong.”
You walk differently.
People can feel this. Life responds to this and opportunities find this.
🧠THE IDENTITY INTEGRATION REFLECTION
A Guided Journal for Who You Are Becoming.
Who am I becoming?
What version of me am I ready to release?
What am I no longer available for?
What would the future me choose today?
What truth about myself have I avoided claiming?
Describe your future self in the past tense.
What would change instantly if I stopped negotiating my worth?
Take a quiet moment with these prompts.
They are designed to help your subconscious register a new identity—the one you’re stepping into now.
🧠IDENTITY AFFIRMATIONS (Science-Based, Not Cheesy)
I act from who I am becoming, not who I used to be.
My subconscious updates every time I choose myself.
I no longer negotiate my worth—my identity sets the standard.
My brain learns who I am through repetition, evidence, and boundaries.
I am safe to outgrow old versions of myself.
I belong in rooms that match my future, not my past.
Every aligned choice reinforces the identity I’m building.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve been feeling lost, undervalued, stuck, or unsure of your direction, you’re not broken.
You’re evolving.
Identity shifts feel like confusion because they’re growth in disguise.
You’re not falling apart—you’re shedding the version of yourself that could never take you to the next level.
Your identity is the root and your boundaries, confidence, self-worth, and future are the fruit.
You become unstoppable the moment you decide who you are.
Thank you for reading this article.
Until next Sunday,
—Jessica
Your 2am friend who actually gets it
“The world is a giant pool of moving vibrations, waves of energy emitted from all beings. When we cultivate our minds, we cleanse our personal vibe. We reclaim our power by not yielding to what flows around us and by allowing what is within us to come forward. Remember, the energy you most often repeat is the energy you will most easily connect with. Your vibration is always shining and affecting your environment.” —Yung Pueblo
🪩 If this article resonated with you, consider Joining The Paid Gold Tier of the NP Fellow Community.
It’s where we go beyond inspiration and into integration—with practical tools, evidence-based insights, the complete NP Fellow healing library, exclusive digital products, deeper conversations, and private reflections shared with the Join with Gold community to support you while you take extreme ownership, keep you grounded in your personal development and devoted to disciplined self-mastery, growth, and healing.
Because healing isn’t just about what happened—It’s about what happens next.
If you’re ready to go deeper into who you’re becoming, upgrade to the paid subscription here.
Your future self will thank you.
🚨My new podcast NP Fellow Collective is now live on Spotify!
Fresh Playlists Created by Yours Truly on Spotify🔊
My new annual “end of the year” vibes playlist, don’t sleep!!🧙♀️
That UK Jungle fire sound, IYKYK!!🔥
Techno snobs ONLY, watch how you speak to us!!💅
Recent Articles👩⚕️✍️
Looking for Quick, Mindful Workouts to Elevate Your Fitness Routine? 👇⏰💪
Check out my ebook, A Pocket Book of Express Mindful Workouts, designed to help you seamlessly integrate daily movement into your modern life.
This ebook features 20 express, mindful workouts, each just 17 minutes long, making it easy to stay active wherever you are—whether at home, in a hotel, or even outdoors.
An Express Mindful Workout combines physical movement with mindfulness, focusing on maintaining proper form and controlled breathing.
These quick routines will test your mental toughness, improve cardiovascularfitness, and build muscle strength, all while helping you develop a consistent daily workout practice.
Best of all, you can download the ebook instantly and carry it with you wherever you go.
So, no matter how busy your schedule, you’ll always have time to get moving!!
Manifest Your Mornings with The Perfect Sunrise 🌅✨
Every new day holds the energy of fresh beginnings.🌅🌆
My exclusive collection of sunrise photos captures the tranquil magic of the morning sun and tropical shores at dawn—ideal for screen savers, digital vision boards, social media posts, and more.🏝️🌊
Elevate Your Environment & Attract Positivity with Every Sunrise.📲🌅
A pack of 10 high-resolution digital photo downloads.
Stunning, beautiful screen savers & wallpapers.
Perfect for Law of Attraction & manifestation rituals.
Instant access for social media & creative, digital projects.
Instant download, endless inspiration—immerse yourself in the warmth of paradise today!!🌅🏝️
Click here to gain access to my incredible sunrise photos packs.👈
MEDICAL DISCLAIMER
This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice or to take the place of such advice or treatment from a personal physician. All readers/viewers of this content are advised to consult their doctors or qualified health professionals regarding specific health questions. All viewers of this content, especially those taking prescription or over-the-counter medications, should consult their physicians before beginning any nutrition, supplement or lifestyle program.
I am using neuroplasticity HARD to change my identity from “sick person” to “healthy and well person” 🏆
After many, many years of debilitating illness, I am sooo ready for change ❤️🩹
Very interesting! I will take a look at what I think I am becoming and give the past tense journaling a try. Right now, I am working on gaining more confidence to sell my work as an artist.